Bullying is an expression of the worst of our humanity

Nov 19, 2024 Letters

Dear Editor,

When we think of delinquent behavior in schools and communities, sexual abuse is often overlooked, yet its impact is severe and long-lasting. Victims can endure prolonged periods of depression, anxiety, and academic challenges. Meanwhile, perpetrators, if not addressed early on, may continue down a path of destructive behavior, both for themselves and wider society.

Many children hesitate to disclose abuse, often for complex reasons. A systematic review identifies factors that discourage disclosure, such as fear of consequences, concerns about being disbelieved, and uncertainty about others’ responses. For boys, non-disclosure often stems from shame and guilt, as they are taught that they should be able to protect themselves. As a result, boys may choose silence, which can feel like a prison. However, finding the courage to speak out is the first step toward freedom and finding help.

Sexual abuse among students is particularly challenging to address, as it remains a taboo topic—especially when it involves boys abusing other boys. However, the rise in reports from boys who have been sexually abused underscores the urgent need for attention from all stakeholders, including parents, service providers (police, welfare officers, teachers, medical professionals, faith leaders). The Care for Boys research conducted locally by Dr. Paulette Henry, found that boys who reported sexual abuse were often abused outside their homes. Addressing sexual abuse should be part of a broader initiative to tackle all types of juvenile delinquency if we are aiming to create a safe and nurturing learning environment. After all, we know that hurt people often hurt others.

Fear, shame, and social stigma often prevent children and young people from reporting abuse, particularly sexual abuse. For boys, this stigma is amplified by societal pressures surrounding masculinity. Boys who experience abuse may feel isolated and unable to process their trauma. Conversely, boys who engage in abusive behavior may themselves be responding to unresolved trauma, a lack of guidance, or unhealthy influences in their environment.

Within the school setting, a stable, peaceful environment is essential for both teachers and students. Bullying can disrupt classroom dynamics, drain resources, and more recently often escalate into violence in the school. Some advocate for expelling or isolating disruptive students who bully others to maintain a safe environment, but such measures often lead to cycles of punishment without support or opportunities for change.

Whilst there is an instinct to remove students who harm other students from the school environment, this should be a last resort. Children have a right to their education and removal for bad behaviour fails to address the root causes of delinquent and bullying behaviors. In reality, many young people who are displaying such behaviors are themselves products of challenging circumstances, including poverty, abuse, and inadequate parental care and lack of access to support systems; they may also have experienced some form of sexual abuse or exposure to harmful sexual behaviour. Rather than isolating these students, a balanced, inclusive approach is essential to foster a genuinely safe school environment.

Ultimately, creating a safe learning space requires a balanced approach that addresses harmful behaviors directly while providing the resources and support necessary for all students to thrive. The solution lies not in pushing these issues into the shadows but in bringing them to light, fostering an environment where healing, accountability, and growth are possible for everyone involved.

Sincerely

ChildLink Inc.

(Bullying is an expression of the worst of our humanity)