“Wheh yuh been all dis time? Y’all forget meh?”

Oct 31, 2024 Dem Boys Seh, Features / Columnists

…Dem Boy Seh

Kaieteur News- Dem boys seh deh got a real mix-up down at de GPHC mortuary. Dem dead people been lyin’ there so long now, it look like some ah dem wake up on de other side, scratchin’ dem ghost heads and wonderin’ what time family gon’ come an’ carry dem home. Ah mean, after all, how long it gon’ tek fuh pick up yuh own flesh and blood?

One ah dem wake up and seh, “Wait, deh forget I deh here?” De other one seh, “I dunno, but I ain’t see nobody come fuh you, an’ I been here since last year!” Now dem spectres got all kinda theories. Some ah dem tink family nah get de memo, maybe de news didn’t reach de WhatsApp group yet. One ol’ lady seh, “Dem grandpickney too busy on TikTok fuh pick up Gran right now.”

Is real confusion pon de other side, yuh hear? One chap who deh waitin’ an’ waitin’ seh, “De way dem tekkin’ long, I might as well book me spot at de cemetery meself.” Another one seh, “Look, by de time dem find me, I might as well come back an’ haunt dem house fuh de delay!”

Dem boys seh, dis might be de only place in de whole world where de dead waiting longer fuh a ride home than de livin’ waitin’ fuh de bus. Dem boys seh de hospital got to start sendin’ out reminder letters—“Dear Family Member, kindly note yuh loved one still waitin’ on yuh fuh de final upliftment.”

Meanwhile, de relatives out there livin’ life, goin’ to parties, enjoyin’ de beach, and not a thought fuh poor Uncle Joe who still stretch out cold, waitin’ an’ wonderin’ if he gon’ get a proper send-off.

Dem boys seh one day dem family gon’ show up, and Uncle Joe gon’ be right deh at de gate, ghost an’ all, tappin’ he foot and askin’, “Wheh yuh been all dis time? Y’all forget meh?”

Dem boys seh, in dis country, yuh got to be patient—even if yuh dead.

Talk half. Leff half.

(“Wheh yuh been all dis time? Y’all forget meh?”)

GPHC mortuary

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