Latest update December 17th, 2024 3:32 AM

Guyana's largest selling daily and New York's most popular weekly

Latest News

Even Cats’ Collars Aren’t Safe!

Apr 28, 2024 Dem Boys Seh, Features / Columnists, News

Kaieteur News – Meh heart nearly drop when meh hear seh dem thieves nah limit demselves to pickin’ pockets and snatching phones no more. Dem nah even spare dem poor lil’ animals. Imagine dis, a cat walkin’ ’round de corner, proudly sportin’ its shiny collar, only to find it gone, vanished, like a magician’s trick!

De cat, lookin’ more shocked dan me when meh realize meh done forget meh own birthday, wonderin’ where de heck its bling gone.

Dis ain’t just ’bout hard times, it’s ’bout de brazenness of dem thieves! Stealin’ cat collars like it’s dey birthright! Dem fellas need to take a look in de mirror and ask demself, “Wha’ meh becomin’? Cat-collar crooks?”

An’ den we got dem folks tryin’ to find de humor in dis madness, askin’, “Least de cat nah cat-napped!” But meh tell yuh, don’t speak too soon! Soon enough, dem thieves might be thinkin’, “Why stop at de collar when de whole cat up for grabs?”

But dat’s just de tip of de iceberg, people. We got reports of poodles disappearin’ faster dan yuh can say, “Fetch!” Dem poor doggies, beloved companions of our children, vanishin’ like dey part of some twisted magic show. Imagine de distress! De children cryin’ dey eyes out, wonderin’ why dem had to lose dem puppy.

Now, meh know we Guyanese, we always find a joke even in de darkest times. But dis ain’t no joke! Dis is daylight robbery, literally! Soon, we gon’ have to put alarm systems on our pets, fingerprint scanners on dey food bowls, and GPS trackers on dey tails!

So, meh say dis to dem cat-collar snatchers and doggy disappearers: Stop playin’ games wit’ people’s hearts! Leave de pets alone! If yuh wanna steal somethin’, steal somethin’ useful, like politicians’ promises or traffic jams! But lay off de furry friends, else we gon’ sic de neighborhood watch cats on yuh!

Meh heart goes out to dem families missin’ dey beloved pets. Stay strong, people, and keep an eye on yuh critters. And to dem thieves, watch out! We may laugh at yuh antics today, but tomorrow, we comin’ for yuh with more than just a rolled-up newspaper!

Talk Half! Leff Half!

Similar Articles

The Glenn Lall Show | December, 2nd, 2024

Follow on Tik Tok @Glennlall

 

THE BLUNT OF THE DAY

Sports

Sammy to be appointed as West Indies Senior Men’s Head Coach for all formats

Sammy to be appointed as West Indies Senior Men’s Head Coach for...

Dec 17, 2024

SportsMax – West Indies white ball Head Coach Daren Sammy will also take over the role as head Coach of all West Indies Men’s senior teams as at April 1, 2025, Cricket West Indies (CWI)...
Read More
Bangladesh hold nerve to defend 148 and take 1-0 T20I series lead over West Indies

Bangladesh hold nerve to defend 148 and take 1-0...

Dec 17, 2024

YBG’s Titan Bowl XIII and Tertiary Knockout feature nail-biting encounters on penultimate day

YBG’s Titan Bowl XIII and Tertiary Knockout...

Dec 17, 2024

Chris Dehring appointed Chief Executive Officer of Cricket West Indies

Chris Dehring appointed Chief Executive Officer...

Dec 17, 2024

Dharry’s Pre-World Title Fight Promises to be Best Boxing Event of 2024

Dharry’s Pre-World Title Fight Promises to...

Dec 17, 2024

Blueberry Hill hold defending champions Milerock to 2-2 stalemate, Botafago thrash silver Shattas 7-0 on opening night

Blueberry Hill hold defending champions Milerock...

Dec 17, 2024

Features/Columnists

Publisher’s Note

Freedom of speech is our core value at Kaieteur News. If the letter/e-mail you sent was not published, and you believe that its contents were not libellous, let us know, please contact us by phone or email.

Feel free to send us your comments and/or criticisms.
Contact: 624-6456; 225-8452; 225-8458; 225-8463; 225-8465; 225-8473 or 225-8491.
Or by Email: [email protected] / [email protected]

Weekend Cartoon

Bridge Watch

Demerara Harbour Bridge

> Berbice Bridge […]