Jagdeo: a serial skirter, shirker, spinner

Feb 28, 2024 Features / Columnists, The GHK Lall Column

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H@rd Truths by GHK Lall

Kaieteur News – If Guyana’s Vice President and chief policymaker was in a court of law giving testimony, it is highly probable that he would have been held in contempt of court.

Chronic contempt if he got past that oath. For failing to provide clear answers. For dissembling and obfuscating.  Simply put, being a skirter around questions.  Man, is his skirt and skirting voluminous, a billowing sea of driftwood and drift-mud, the apex of Guyana’s cunning, calculating politics.  Ask the nation’s chief policymaker a simple question and he floats like a fish (a departed one).

The VP’s is such a skirter than he could compete in any dress competition and come out the winner: yes, his skirting has so many folds, pleats, lacy embroidery. Ask the bossman about new discovery data, and he produces a mangled answer about Exxon’s focusing on “monetizing” already discovered resources.  What a clever character the mighty VP is.  Unlike a court of law, the court of public opinion, especially his own thinking people, see right through his diaphanous clothing.  The question is whether the VP is a wolf in sheep’s clothing; or he has no clothing to recommend him.  I must admit, though, that the big man has a tremendous elasticity with truth, fairness, and what is right for all Guyanese.  Just so that everyone is together, especially PPP watchers and shock absorbers at Office of the President and State-massaged media, the elasticity is on a downward trajectory.

The VP has earned his spurs as a serial shirker also.  A respectable request for a peek at the cash handout spending, and the man with all the power is transformed into the powerless.  He shifts and shirks his duty to the people.  I wonder which man anywhere could tell me that I is a former prezzident and I frikken wha Kaieteur News gon do. I would have to be stark, raving mad. This is the situation, these were the conditions, now go ahead and bring aan yuh distortions, Kaieteur.  See wha yuh can fine.  But this is the uber shirker that the VP has become, and he just cannot help himself.  His shirking on cash grants information is the newest example of a man who has patented more moves than Fred Astaire (and Ginger), MC Hammer, and the new Usher.  Put the striking teachers before the VP, and he seh is de peeple on Brickdam by the police station. This is how the mastermind earns his reputation as a shirker. If it is not the EPA, it is Kaieteur; and if it is pay and conditions of work involving teachers is nah hee, is the Ministry.  What kind of chief policymaker is this man and national leader is the VP? I submit that the chief policymaking decisions that have been made by the VP (not to be confused with the first VP, the honorary PM), is to skirt around the demands that accompany that top job and shirk them over to others.  Separately, the chief policymaker should really be the other Disneyland and Las Vegas presence in Guyana, i.e., the man with the biggest official title.  The smaller man is Guyana’s chief oilman, and he sounds like the senior most cheerleader for Exxon, the chief advocate for Exxon, the chief public relations officer for Exxon.  Soon he will be drawling like a Texan: all molasses, all monstrosities.

Last, the policy supremo, the VP, is a spinner: flight and floaters, twists and turns.  Challenge him, and he shrinks: if it is not the media is some naysayah, some ministah.  What’s the story with the US$2 billion coverage from Exxon. The matter is engaging the attention of the courts, so it is sub judice.  He is now a Roman.  Guyana’s chief concocter is always spinning some sad story.  The real stories about this oil are secrets known only to Exxon and himself.  Spin is cool; secrets cooler.  It is why the VP is hailed in high Exxon chambers as its global employee of the year.  The VP is such a spin doctor that he mek Guyanese believe dat he wukking fuh dem.  Aaal de time, he wukking fuh Exxon, is the company’s best spokesperson.  He spins so much that the skin on his fingers and face all gone.  He sheds more skin than a snake.  How about some backbone?  I must check with the headmaster minister if serpents have backbone.  Incidentally, if he is a headmaster, then I am the ayatollah of Persia.  The policymaker spins better than India’s Ravichandran Ashwin and Australia’s Nathan Lyon combined.  In the Vice President skirting and spinning game, he is in an exclusive (5000 wicket) club all by himself.  He owns wicket and stumps, converts the umpires to his side, and walks with his own rummy, rowdy crowd to cheer him on.

I invite others to look where Guyanese are.  Guyana is world news.  But, whenever the VP says something, it’s a different kind of news.  Good news for Exxon, bad news for Guyanese.  Sweet news for foreign investors, sad news for local owners.  The foreign shareholders striking it rich, local teachers striking over poor pay and poorer policies.  These imbalances occur, these differences reign, when leaders are serial skirters, shirkers, and spinners.

(The views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and beliefs of this newspaper and its affiliates.)

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• GHK Lall, policymaker, shirker, skirter, spinner

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