Sex appeal, KFC outlet, wash-bay boys and a banana republic

Nov 02, 2022 Features / Columnists, Freddie Kissoon

Kaieteur News – I saw the confusion that occurs during the daily rush hour and on the weekends with vehicles lining up at the drive-through entrance at the KFC outlet at Vlissengen Road and Eping Avenue.

I deliberately said to myself that was no concern of mine because I do not take that area when I am going to Kaieteur News in Charlestown. I do not pass that area where the KFC outlet is because the ambience there is one of complete breakdown of civilization.

It was impossible for the local and central authorities to have given permission to build a fast-food outlet there. To use the drive-thru, you actually have to wait in an extraordinary long line which takes in three streets- Eping Avenue, Vlissengen Road and Irving Street.

It is a complete mess that even makes a banana republic look more civilized. Even a banana republic would not have given permission to build a fast-food outlet there. It is impossible to operate a drive-thru service at that junction. But it happened and other uncivilized directions occupy the landscape of this country.

So last week, Sigmund Freud was on display in Guyana. A lady who signed her name as Melissa Lewis and another person who signed his/here name as D. Sawh expressed disgust at what takes place at that junction.

They both refused to name the offender as KFC. At the Freudian level, the admiration for KFC and the Beharry Group of Companies was so deep that both signatories were driven by Freudian repression to refer to KFC as a fast-food outlet without being specific.

If you live in Guyana and you just study one philosophy book, you will feel sorry for the people that make up this nation. Why would two persons complain that they cannot pass the junction of Eping Avenue as it meets Vlissengen Road and Irving Street because of the jungle of vehicles that KFC creates but refrain deliberately from telling the world what KFC at that junction is doing? Really, this is a mysterious nation.

But the vehicular jungle tells the story of another side of the lost soul of the Guyanese nation. I have never seen a letter in the newspapers expressing solidarity with the workers who published a missive in the Stabroek News informing the world that the management of Muneshwer’s general store had instructed them to bring their own toilet paper and hand-washing liquid.

I wonder what Lewis or Sawh think of that and if they care to pen a newspaper letter on the subject. But there are further dimensions to the lost soul of the Guyanese nationality. The Ministry of Public Works sent out a circular informing the nation it will remove encumbrances on the public parapets.

The targets were wash-bay boys and dog-food sellers. I use Georgetown on a daily basis and I saw the wash-bay boys and dog food sellers on the parapets. But the hindrance they constitute cannot compare to what KFC does at the junction mentioned above.

The whole world is waiting with immense curiosity to see how the ministry is going to move those vehicles at Eping Avenue. What type of crane they are going to use? It is easy to imagine the method the ministry will adopt to remove the washing boys and dog food sellers – just run them off the parapets.

But how are they going to move the dozens of vehicles blocking Eping Avenue, Vlissengen Road and Irving Avenue? There can only be one way. Rent an aircraft carrier either from Russia, China or the US. The cranes on the carrier will be appropriate for removing the vehicles. They will be stored on the carrier outside Fort Groyne next to the sewage system and after KFC pays the fine, the vehicles would be released.

Here is another dimension of the lost soul of the Guyanese people. It has to do with sex appeal. Prominent city lawyer and former Speaker of the National Assembly, Ralph Ramkarran in a column on civil society groupings, suggested that they concentrate on many more aspects of troubling things in Guyana rather on issues that have sex appeal. I did have disagreements in the past with Mr. Ramkarran but I truly like his descriptive label of sex appeal. I close with one more aspect of the lost soul. Not one political party, not one civil society group asked the ministry why the washing boys and dog food sellers were its targets and not the rich and mighty that have humongous objects on the parapets that cannot be touched. I’m thinking of forming a political party and ask the dog food sellers for their votes. I love dogs.