Sometimes we have to face the beast within

Sep 11, 2022 News

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=My Testimony=

 By Sharmain Grainger

Kaieteur News – Recently, I heard a sermon from Bishop TD Jakes which he titled ‘Beauty and the Beast’ (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k1NVB4JBayc). The remarkable message that he coveys is that there is some amount of beauty and some amount of beast in each of us. Of note too, he underscored that it isn’t the perceived goodness nestled inside us that reveals our true identity but rather, it is the conflict between ‘beauty and beast’ that releases our real substance at the right time.

Understandably, most, if not all of us, want people to see the beauty in us but it is only few that can accept us if we dare to share the beast.

In the preacher’s words, “It is not the beauty that makes you great, it’s your beast. It is not the things that went right that cause your destiny to unlock; the most fruitful part of you comes from the barren place.”

But many of us hide our beast so well that were it possible, we ourselves would believe it is actually non-existence. But to overcome, we must fess up in order to yield good fruit.

Sadly, in this world, many people would much rather we lie to them about who we really are. They would prefer that we be an imitation of our reality rather than present the truth, which admittedly, can really hurt sometimes.

However, it is only when you choose to follow God without reservation that you can truly begin to own up to the beast (the revolting, repugnant and, rancorous) that resides within. When I begin to analyse the depths of wickedness that a human being can embody, there is nothing left for me to do other than drop to my knees in prayer, thankful that Jesus died on the cross to save me from continually hurting myself, and others too. It is my belief that far too often we blame our immoral ways on dark forces. Have you ever heard the phrase: “The devil made me do it”? No! we don’t get to give the devil that much credit when with clarity, we plot our move – whether premeditated or spontaneous. I’m not saying that there isn’t some prodding from the dark side at times, but ultimately, we make the choice to do good or evil.

If you read the biblical book of Proverbs, you will find that it contains a great deal of wisdom to help us live better lives, some of which, like some of our truth, can be pretty hard to digest. Take for instance, Proverbs 28:13, “People who conceal their sins will not prosper but if they confess and turn from them, they will receive mercy.” Of course, the notion of receiving mercy is very attractive but having to confess in order to achieve this, not so appealing. If we choose to have our way, never admitting to being an undercover beast will most likely always be the better option.

Oftentimes we think that the wrongs we do will never be found out; we think our secret indiscretions are safe with us and could very well do more harm than good if disclosed. But do you know that even if no one is around when we do the wrong, there is always someone seeing our every move? God always sees, for He is omnipresent (everywhere) and omniscient (all-knowing).

Given that God is ‘all-knowing’, coupled with the notion that ‘confession is good for the soul’ and the wisdom in Proverbs 28, I decided I needed to start the process of freeing myself of the burden of secret sins committed against others, some of which I have been carrying around for far too long. Although the process of confession has started, I must admit it hasn’t been the easiest task.

Caution! Confession is not for the faint of heart, for people will either love you or hate you when it’s all said and done. However, once it is done (God’s) mercy (and not necessarily the person you confess to) looks even more attractive.

For instance, after I apologised to one individual, who I had wronged horribly (unknown to them), that person made it clear that it would have been better if I hadn’t spilled the beans on myself.  Moreover, the person told me that I should keep my apology, and not in a ‘let bygones be bygones’ way but as condemnatory as it gets, and I don’t blame them.

To that person, I am perhaps now public enemy number one, but that’s okay, because it is horrible people like me who are well aware that they need a saviour. In the gospels, Mark 2:17 and Luke 5:32, Jesus made it clear that “Healthy people don’t need a doctor—sick people do. I have come to call not those who think they are righteous, but those who know they are sinners.”

So being the colossal sinner that I am, I am daring to do whatever it takes to acquire as much mercy as I can at this juncture of my life, and surprisingly, confession comes with a wonderful sense of liberation. While confessing your sins to God is a must for any repentant heart, believe me, once He prompts you to take it a notch further (apologising to people you have wronged), it is absolutely worth it, even though you might be chastised by those you’d wronged.

The bible notes at 1 John 1:8-10, “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word has no place in our lives.”

So whether it is to God alone, to an individual, or both, I am willing to bare my soul to whomever once it means I’m shaking off some undesired burdens and drawing a little closer to the Supreme Being. And indeed, whether we want to admit it or not, secretly hurting someone is a tremendous burden to bear, especially if it is someone you cared about.

But in this life people can be so very different. In another instance of bearing my soul to another person who I’d offended, and even worse in my estimation, forgiveness was immediately forthcoming and the slate wiped clean.

It quickly dawned on me that it is much like this latter case that God demonstrates His love for us. It is only when you have His love in your heart that you are able to honestly forgive and let go of wrongs done to you. Suffice it to say, there is not a wrong done to me that I will be unwilling to forgive, for I have felt what it feels like to be denied forgiveness and to have it forthwith, and it feels so much better to be forgiven.

According to Psalm 103:12, God in forgiving us, “He has removed our sins as far from us as the east is from the west” and if we desire to be more like Him, we must be willing to be just as merciful too.

Thankfully, it is God, and not man, who absolves our sins when we earnestly repent and endeavour to change our ways. Although they may see you striving to be a better person, there are some human beings who would much rather see you continue to live a wayward life, simply because that seems more normal to them.  In reality, there are quite a number of people who would much rather accept lewdness over decency. They find it hard to believe that the True and Living God wants us to be completely free from blame.

Why must I subject myself to a life of blame and guilt when Jesus, through His death on the cross, has paved a way for me to be completely set free? Galatians 5:1 reads, “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.”

(If you have an enlightening experience to share, email me @ [email protected])

 

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