Cultivating good friends

Aug 28, 2022 News

==Boys to men==

By Nigel Williams

Kaieteur News – As a Christian, I believe that our affection for one another springs from our common relation to God. We are one family; we love one another as Christ loved us.

However, when compared with this true, sanctified, disciplined affection, the shallow courtesy, which passes for friendship these days leave much to be desired. In fact as one writer said, the meaningless expression of effusive friendship, are as chaff to the wheat.

Having a friend – a best friend is ideal in these times. We all need someone we can pour out to; to relax with and even play with. The term ‘best friend’ was a common feature during school days so much so that you had to write essays on this topic. Today, a random survey in the office on the subject on friendship produces responses such as “Jesus is my best friend; my mother is my best friend, among others.” This to me is confirmation that some people perhaps do not see true friendship outside of the familial relationships. It also tells me that persons are no longer enamoured by the notion of having a best friend.

The term ‘best friend’ is defined as a person who you value above other friends in your life. Someone you have fun with, someone you trust and someone in whom you confide. The first person you call when you get good news or want to go out for a bite to eat is an example of your best friend.

A best friend is also a confidante – which many believe are in short supply these days. Confidantes are people who welcome you unconditionally. They are into you whether you are up or down, right or wrong, they are in it for the long haul. You can share anything with them. Additionally, confidantes are people who you can share your deepest and darkest inner thoughts with, who would not judge you but will feed you instead of drain you.

Have you ever had relationships where the person was emotionally immature and consistently draining you? It’s okay to help others but you must have someone who feeds you so you can feed someone else. They will confront you; they’ll get in your business and get in your face and tell you when you are wrong but will also come back and be by your side no matter what. They will never leave.

Truth be told, many have given up on the idea of having a best friend or even on friendship on a whole. These are people who are often still smarting from betrayal from persons they once called friends or even abuse at the hands of their friends.

Despite, all of these, whether it’s your mother, a sibling or your spouse, having a friend, a true friend, is an asset in these times.

This is so because, things will go wrong with everyone; sadness and discouragement press every soul; then a personal presence, a friend who will comfort and impart strength, will turn back the darts that are aimed to destroy.

Real friends are not half as plentiful as they should be, but in hours of temptation, in a crisis, a true friend can be of tremendous value.

In preparing this article, I asked a few random persons about having a best friend.

“I know the value of having a best friend, because I did not grow up with siblings and my parents were always busy. It was my best friend, who was always there with me through school, at church, wherever… and even now as a grown person, he is still very present in my life,” was the response by one man interviewed.

“My mother is my best friend,” another respondent, a female said. “Trust me she is always there for me and it could be whatever time of the day. It doesn’t matter whether I am right or wrong, she never leaves my side.”

A number of other respondents were hesitant, some not sure whether they have a best friend or confidante, although they all agreed that having someone you can trust and rely on is crucial.

At the end of the day, everyone will find friends or make them and just in proportion to the strength of the friendship, will be the amount of influence which friends will exert over one another for good or for evil. All will have associates, and will influence and be influenced in their turn. But in this age, if choice is made of friends who show a personal interest in other people, whom we can talk, listen, and share our time and emotions with. Friends who can be a positive role model not just for you, but also others then the influence will lead to a better society – a more caring world.