Managing my life is 1000 percent my responsibility

Aug 21, 2022 News

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==The Creators’ Coven==

By Zena Henry

Kaieteur News – To date, I have not gotten an external explanation of life as to our origin and purpose that has truly fulfilled that empty feeling of a somewhat severed connection. Each explanation, as compelling as they may sound, seems to come with their own doubts and criticisms. I’ll say too that most of these explanations, in responding to the question, usually come with religious undertones or that being the outright elucidations. And for me that is just fine, especially if the situation is serving your best interest.

My experiences however, have not afforded me an easy choice to just accept or to just believe in general, things said or answers given about matters that have a direct impact on my life. I guess I am the type to really get it until all the facts or information is in; then I get a chance to examine carefully. It may be a serious sense of caution developed over the years having to be the main light in my life’s journey so far.

Not just a feeling, but the reality of me generally being alone in this world with little to no guidance, I accepted a long time ago that all available information is welcomed and necessary in me forging ahead on this journey. You see, what always amazes me is that someone never really knows anything unless they learn about it or become aware, regardless of how it is brought to their attention. That tells me that a person could go on their entire life surviving and thriving, not knowing something that someone else holds dear and imperative to their existence. That further says to me, that it all depends on what information, belief, etc. one chooses to take in and apply to their life that will ultimately have a massive impact on their experiences and to some extent, the ease in which they journey on.

Accepting this, I have worked so hard on myself and continue everyday trying to apply what I have learnt to serve me in the best way possible. And these involve working on my social skills, (I learnt the hard way about my poor people skills), emotions and character in general while continuing to observe what I believe are my shortcomings, and continue to make the modifications. You see, managing myself, my life, is 1000 percent my responsibility. I have observed that many of us depend on others to do for us;whether it is our parents, our Government, our friends and so on; failing to recognise that whatever effect we get from a situation, we are the ones impacted, so we are thus required to safeguard our physical, mental and other states so that we do not lay blame on predicaments that we may or may not have created but to some extent, are still responsible for by virtue of our involvement.

At first, I refused to accept this – that if someone, for example a friend, does something wrong to me that it was totally their fault. I absolutely refused it until I finally saw in my own experience, how I was responsible for that friend doing me wrong, and later recognised why I should not have even been upset because again, I placed myself in the situation. In this situation I refer to, I recognised that I wanted this person to be my friend, despite the signs being there that this person was not committed to the friendship as I was, I kept holding on, hanging around and doing even more for this person. And can you believe, I was actually upset because the person was not returning my commitment to the relationship in kind. NO! Absolutely not! I had no right to be upset with a person because they did not give the same energy as I did. Instead, I should have recognised whether this person was committed as I was and act accordingly where that is concerned. And even if I was blinded by my determination to make this person a friend and a part of my life, I should not be upset, but to use this as a learning experience. Today, this person and I are no longer friends and I am not upset but feel like I could have handled the situation differently because it is not that this person is no good, but that this person was being themselves towards me and I didn’t like the treatment as it was not on par with mine. I just needed to adjust.

And in most cases, that is in fact all we need, to handle a situation differently so that the outcome serves us the best way we see. A lot of times we act, and in hindsight, look back on what was said or done and regret. I doubt we can completely remove what we may call negative responses, but I strongly believe like a computer, we can programme ourselves to do better by acting in our best interest. I am not talking about being passive or restrained, but I think more or less, to be logical in our thinking because like I said, I am 1000 percent responsible for my behaviour.

Last week I mentioned learning from the greats and placed a few of the teachers that continue to readjust my mind, and are helping me to unlearn some of the unwanted traits that cause us unnecessary pain, emotional damage, and regret. I had mentioned Manly Palmer Hall, the Canadian author, lecturer, astrologer and mystic who over his 70-year career gave thousands of lectures on what he described as the ‘The Secret Teachings of All Ages’. Some of what the great teacher has put forward is so thought provoking, so mind boggling, because for me I had never looked at situations in the way he puts it over. And based on what he taught, he showed how society and an individual’s failure to take responsibility for themselves, and their actions heavily contribute to the unwanted experiences and situations we face. I recommend my readers give Mr. Hall a listen – ‘Motivations behind thought and action, psychology and self-improvement’ and ‘How to Master Your Thinking Patterns’ and ‘Habits for Self-Development Wisdom’ are among the many eye-opening lectures that deal directly with consciousness, emotions, and other heavy topics

An online site ‘The balancecareers.com’ which speaks about job acquisition, attitude, people management and such topics, has an entire segment on taking responsibility for one’s life as a means of being successful. In answering the question of responsibility, they said, “You are totally responsible for your life. This is the foundational principle you must embrace if you plan for happiness and success in your life and work.” They said for many people, everything is someone else’s fault. Every problem can be explained away with reasons why they can’t affect the situation or the outcome. They have sought to highlight the weaknesses we possess when having to dig deep and genuinely act in our best interest by recognising that it is only we who are to be blamed for our failures.

Next week we will look into what this website has to say about taking responsibility for our lives. They are contending that even to have job success, we need to hold ourselves responsible and thus dives into what happens when we don’t, how we are affected and the excuses we make that makes us keep our own selves down.

 

 

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