‘Dad or Dud’ – the changing or unchanged roles of fathers

Jun 19, 2022 News

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Kaieteur News – Today Guyana joins the rest of the world in celebrating Father’s Day. The commemoration which started in the United States was first observed on June 19, 1910, in the state of Washington. However, it was not until 1972—58 years after President Woodrow Wilson made Mother’s Day official—that the day honouring fathers became a nationwide holiday in the United States.

Today the world over uses the occasion to shower fathers with gifts, although outside of the many celebrants they are those who spend the day enumerating all the wrongs committed by their fathers. This, is understandable within the context of many a deadbeat dads.
However, very often when we speak about fatherhood, we tend to only view it through the lens of their responsibility as a provider and although this is a very crucial element, it is not the only roles fathers must play. In fact, today we hear about the changing roles of fathers and mothers, but are these really new roles or both our parents were pigeonholed into some of these responsibilities.
We have been raised to believe that the father is the head of the household, but equally the wife or mother looks to him for love and sympathy and for aid in the training of the children. The children are his as well as hers, and he is to be equally interested in their welfare.
Children look up to the father for support and guidance, thus his outlook of life should be a positive one, influenced by love and dedication to his family.
One religious writer said a father should do his part toward making home happy. Whatever his cares and business perplexities, they should not be permitted to overshadow his family; he should enter his home with smiles and pleasant words. Too often our fathers are characterised as the disciplinarian whose presence in the home is to intimidate the children and ward them off against truly expressing themselves.

On the contrary, this is no evidence of manliness in the father for him to dwell constantly upon his position as head of the family. A father must not be as a child, moved merely by impulse. He is bound to his family by sacred ties. The father is to stand at the head of his family, not as an overgrown, undisciplined boy, but as a man with manly character and with his passions controlled.
A 2016 research paper titled: The Effects of Involved Fatherhood on Families and how fathers can be supported both at the workplace and in the home by Scott Behson, PhD; Fairleigh Dickinson University, USA and Nathan Robbins Brigham Young University, USA said thusly: “the diverse effects father involvement has on child development can be grouped together in four categories: behavioral, emotional/psychological, social and cognitive/academic.”
In regards to emotional and psychological development, the research which was prepared for the United Nations Department of Economic and Social Affairs, noted that children with warm and emotionally responsive fathers are less emotionally reactive, have higher levels of overall well-being and experience less depression.
The research paper went on to state that involvement with children at age seven reduces risk of psychological maladjustment, and involvement at age sixteen predicts less psychological distress in adulthood. “Involvement benefits children socially, as children with warm fathers have been found to relate better with other children and to exhibit more prosocial behaviors towards others. Behaviorally, father involvement impacts children by decreasing externalizing behaviour hyperactivity and increasing behavioral self-regulation,” the research stated. It added that in the area of cognitive function and academics, children with involved fathers have higher IQs on average, have increased executive function, improved school conduct and scholastic self- concept. “One overlooked beneficiary of involved fatherhood are fathers themselves. In fact, the research shows that involved fatherhood makes men happier and healthier,” the research paper states, adding that meaningful involvement with their children is reported by fathers to be among their most important sources of well-being and happiness.
Studies also found that fathers who report close, non-violent connections with their children live longer, have fewer mental and physical health problems, are less likely to abuse drugs, are more productive at work, and report being happier than men who do not have this strong connection. Further, men who are fathers are more likely to be involved in their neighborhoods, more likely to regularly attend religious service, and more likely to engage in community service. Most fathers aspire to success not just as financial providers and in their careers, but also as involved, loving fathers.
So as we celebrate another Father’s Day, let us lift the bar on how we see our fathers and the roles we ascribe to them. The father’s duty to his children cannot be transferred to the mother. If she performs her own duty, she has burden enough to bear. Only by working in unison can the father and mother accomplish the work of raising well adjusted children. The father should not excuse himself from his part in the work of educating his children for life and must share in the responsibility.
Happy Father’s Day!!

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