Jermaine Figueira’s jumbie lash may kill Vincent Alexander

Aug 14, 2021 Features / Columnists, Freddie Kissoon

Kaieteur News – PNC parliamentarian, Jermaine Figueira, has put a deadly jumbie lash on Vincent Alexander. The GECOM Commissioner may not recover from it. He was driven to the emergency COVID-19 hospital but was turned back.
The authorities say jumbie lash does not give people the COVID-19 virus but “de Burnham virus.” In the 1970s de Burnham virus was known as “de Burnham touch.” It was Walter Rodney who devastated the slogan of de Burnham touch. He described the Midas Touch in reverse and applied it to Burnham.
King Midas in Greek mythology turned everything into gold that he put his hands on. Rodney told Guyanese that Burnham turned everything into s…t that he laid his hands on. It was from then that de Burnham touch became de Burnham virus. Anyway, back to Vincent who is currently in hospital next to the Burnham mausoleum in the Botanical Gardens.
So what happened between Vincent and Figueira? To understand the lash Vincent got we have to quote Figueira. Speaking on the motion to adopt the Walter Rodney Commission of Inquiry Report, here is what Figueira enunciated in parliament, “We need to use this Parliament to better people’s lives not to debate the dead over and over. Those who continuously want to do such should join the dead.”
This is a massive jumbie blow to the body of Vincent. You see Vincent is one of the leading protagonists for preserving the memories of dead people. He is one of the founders of the Guyana Branch of the Caribbean Reparations Committee. This agency is to press the British government to pay reparations for slavery.
Enter Figueira. Figueira contends that it is useless for Guyana to keep debating the dead. If the British agree to pay compensation for slavery then how can dead people collect money? Slavery ended more than a hundred years ago. The dead has been dead more than two hundred years ago.
Dead people cannot receive money to go and buy clothes and food. I grew up in Wortmanville where I played and roamed in the Le Repentir Cemetery just two corners from where I grew up. At night I saw dead people “in puris naturalibis” (stark naked) all the time. Jumbies do not wear clothes.
I have never seen a jumbie eating food. Many late nights in Wortmanvile, as a small boy, I saw jumbies invading wake-houses but never took any food. Once jumbies sneak into people’s house in South Georgetown in the uncivilised hours of dusk, they like to play with plates, bowls and glasses. I don’t know why. But they never touched food. So what the dead are going to do with the money the British are going to give them?
In Figueira’s logic, why don’t we ask the British for money for real, living people, like those at Plastic City and other squatting areas and the palms? Why not ask the British for money to build a brand new old people’s home or furnish the Georgetown Hospital with more facilities? I remind readers this is not my logic but the reasoning of Vincent’s election colleague, Figueira.
Vincent is also one of the founders of an institute named after a Guyanese long dead – Forbes Burnham. Vincent is currently its head and David Granger is the patron. The thing is named the Burnham Foundation and not surprisingly is housed in a small place next to the Burnham mausoleum and has the appearance of a squatting shack.
Enter the logic of Figueira. The PNC strongman from Linden would argue that it is useless, unnecessary, and irrelevant to have a foundation in the name of those who are dead. “Why not honour those who are living,” he would exclaim. I suspect that Figueira would like Vincent to change the name to the David Granger Foundation. The man from Linden would say that Burnham is dead, Granger is alive, let’s have a foundation in the name of the living.
I certainly don’t agree with Figueira. But the question is how Vincent feels about Figueira’s theory of the dead. I think Figueira’s shadow is going to grow tall over the shoulders of Vincent whenever he opens his mouth to talk about reparations and the Burnham Foundation. I think Vincent should retain Burnham’s name but change it to the Burnham Foundation for the teaching of how to rig elections.
Figueira’s theory is bound to generate anger in many election riggers and PNC supporters who believe in the dead.
(The views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of this newspaper.)

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Jermaine Figueira’s jumbie lash may kill Vincent Alexander

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