Beliefs that keep male CSA survivors from coming forward

May 09, 2021 Letters

DEAR EDITOR,

Throughout Sexual Assault Awareness month in April, many local and international agencies promoted campaigns to tackle sexual violence. Focusing specifically on sexual violence against boys, ChildLinK last month launched and implemented the Blue Umbrella Day (BUD) campaign into its existing One Thousand Boys (OTB) initiative. The BUD campaign centres on the care of boys and aims to contribute towards public education on the sexual violence that they experience.
There is a public perception that boys are not vulnerable to sexual violence. A lot of this stems from the belief that young boys, regardless of their age and capacity, should be able to protect themselves from attacks against them. Those who are proven unable to defend themselves are often ridiculed and shamed for failing to abide by the standards of masculinity that has been set out for them. Boys in turn, internalise these feelings of inadequacy, fear and shame. This often causes them to remain silent about the abuse that they experience as they buy into the belief that they should have been able to protect themselves from it.
This becomes even more difficult as young boys navigate a society that is intensely homophobic and pushes the popular idea that only gay men and boys sexually assault others or can be assaulted. The reality is that sexual violence has nothing to do with ones current or future sexuality. It has everything to do with the abusers anger and need for power and control over another person. These distinctions are not often acknowledged however, particularly in everyday society that tends to promote hyper masculine aggression as the standard. So boys who have been sexually assaulted by a male perpetrator can often struggle with questions surrounding their sexuality. The questioning can become even more intense if it is that they had an erection or ejaculation during the assault – but these bodily functions are really automatic ones that come through mere physical contact and even stress.
Like other survivors of sexual abuse, boys go through similar periods of grief, shame and fear. These responses to assault can often remain with them for a lifetime, particularly if it is that they do not get the support that they need. Unfortunately, we still have a largely victim blaming culture that often discourages male survivors of violence from coming forward with their experiences due to the fear that they will not be believed or would be blamed for the assault against them. Victim blaming can also result in young boys distancing themselves from their experiences, as they do not want to believe such a crime could have happened to them, particularly if it was by someone they know.
Supporting boys who have been victims of sexual abuse means challenging a lot of the ideas surrounding who constitutes a “perfect victim” and moving away from the general culture of violence and victim blaming that permeates our society.

Akola Thompson
Consultant, ChildLinK

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Beliefs that keep male CSA survivors from coming forward

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