Tuesday, May 19 was a sad day for the Guyanese nationality

May 21, 2020 Features / Columnists, Freddie Kissoon

When I typed my satirical, funny, comical, fictional piece last Tuesday, I never would have believed the reaction I received that made me sad. It was a sad day for the nationality that goes by the name of Guyanese.
Titled, “Mercury and the Russians rigged the election for the PPP,” the column was meant as satire, sarcasm and a cynical joke on the clowns inside the leadership of both PNC and AFC. Everything about that article was comical. Everything about that article was so outlandish that a mongoloid idiot that hasn’t got an IQ had to know I was joking and poking fun at the APNU+AFC election circus.
Not hundreds; please believe me, not hundreds but thousands of Guyanese believed that the details written in that column were true and that the story happened. The Kaieteur News was deluged with enquiries. The editor-in-chief called and requested an explanatory note at the end of my column for the next day. I did that yesterday.
I don’t have a Facebook account but I was reliably informed hundreds of persons were cussing me down and others were praising me. Those angry with me were supporters of the PPP. They thought I had done a propaganda piece against their party. PNC supporters saw me as a splendid journalistic investigator who found out how the PPP rigged the election.
Guyanese, in and out of Guyana, would be shocked to know who some of the people who contacted me, to ascertain if the article was factual, were. The list includes highly (yes highly educated people who went to foreign universities of repute) educated Guyanese, business people and politicians. I would love to tell you who these people are. They are basically fools who have no IQ.
I ask readers forgiveness if I will now come across as immodest. I could understand a semi-literate person not comprehending the satirical saturation in Tuesday’s column but not intelligent and educated people. How can humans be so foolish, so stupid? The list also includes persons that if the PNC wins the 2020 election, will have substantial state jobs. Names also include persons, if the PPP wins, who will have state jobs that call for profound understanding of life.
Yes, Tuesday was a sad day for the nationality of Guyanese. Yesterday, I was at Massy Supermarket buying their superb, delicious, lovely, inexpensive breakfast, when this gentleman came up to me and said, “Freddie, you lighted up Facebook yesterday”. I asked him how people can be so ignorant. He said he found that the ignorance was not in people’s acceptance that the article was true but in their insistence that the contents were true even though people were posting explanations pointing to them that I was just joking and they must see it that way.
He told me PPP supporters were not buying the explanations. They simply accused me of wanting the PPP to look bad. He went on to add that PNC supporters were gloating that Freddie exposed the PPP’s rigging. I feel sorry for those people who couldn’t see that my Tuesday column was one big, fat joke.
When I was very young; just entering the teenage period, I heard an exchange between two persons on the Parade Ground where I use to go every night to watch basketball. There was an insulting exchange going on. One guy finished the argument by asking his opponent: “do you have children? Then if you do, I’m sorry for the world”.
That thing has left a permanent imprint on the door of my mind. I have used it countless times since I was fourteen years old. For those persons, those thousands of Guyanese who read the funny, fictional story I wrote in my column on Tuesday that was so outlandish that, that mongoloid idiot would have understood, I say to you – if you have children then I am sorry for this world we live in.
There were just too many jokes in that article for any sane person to believe it was real. First, Kaieteur Falls does not have farmers. Secondly, how can the Russians bring in a container of chemicals to make masks resembling the faces of 30, 000 dead people? Thirdly, why would the Russians bring into Guyana a set of television sets measuring 110 inches and persons can go up the Linden highway and take how many television sets they want? How can the PPP go around Guyana buying 35, 000 ID cards and it would not be known in Guyana. All I can say to those who believe what I was joking about did happen in Guyana; honestly, I say to you – for the sake of your children, take your mind out of the gutter.

(The views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of this newspaper.)

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