A Christmas without them

Dec 25, 2019 News

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By Shikema Dey

Christmas comes each year with all the trimmings; carols, trees, gifts, food, lights and most importantly, the love and warmth of family. But while most are prepared to celebrate the holidays, other families are adjusting to a change in their usual celebrations; where the sad truth of death brings a reality that could cause Christmas to never be the same.
Whether it may be the first year without them or the tenth, Christmas Day can be a tough milestone for those who have lost a child, a parent, a grandparent, or, any loved one for that matter.
To write this feature, I spoke to a few persons who lost someone dear to them to understand how different their Christmas celebrations will be today.

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“I STILL HAVE HER GIFTS…”

“My daughter, Maria, loved Christmas. She loved everything about it. The lights, the food, the decorations but most of all, she loved family.

Days before she passed, Maria said she wanted a tablet for Christmas. But I told her, she can have something else. I had already bought her gifts, wrapped and hidden away from her eyes. A big teddy bear, bigger than herself, a fluffy cartoon blanket and the only thing missing was a frozen ball.
Even though she is not here, I will still buy that ball to keep as a reminder of my daughter. Maria was a perfect child, understanding and humble, and Christmas was her favourite. Maria loved pizza; it was her favourite food to eat even at Christmas. She loved helping me decorate. I took her shopping and we bought a lot of decorations, the tree and lights, the Santa hats, everything.
But sadly, we did not get to decorate together this year. This year, Christmas will not be the same. But next year, I am determined to celebrate Christmas just like she wanted, with the decorations she loved and her favorite pizza.” – Yoshoda Mangal [Mother]

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“GRANDMA AND THE HOLIDAYS…”

“Deorajee Persaud was a very humble being. Gracious in her ways, jolly and kindhearted. We all admired the way she’d carry hers

elf, with strength. Her children and grandchildren were always proud when people would talk about her.
Everybody would call her Ma. Christmas was our favourite time together. The holidays were always looked forward to. We’d prepare meals; enjoy drinks, share jokes or stories from the past, one of her favourite things to do. We’d compliment and make fun of each other as we sang… horribly, Christmas carols, and dance.
She was our love and happiness. That happiness we felt disappeared when she left. Her death came and shook us all. Heartbroken, we were all left to face life. It became gloomy.
Christmas is not the same without her. We’d still share the same jokes, cook her favourite foods. But the memory of her being with us is all we have remaining there. It becomes a fresh wound whenever someone mentions her. This Christmas will just be another day without her. She’ll forever be in our hearts. Our Ma.” – Nerissa Persaud [grand-daughter]

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“GRANNY WAS THE GLUE…”

“For my family and me, growing up, Christmas was always a big deal…we celebrated even before the holidays, we just enjoyed cooking and being together most of the time. I lived with my mom, so I spent the majority of my time with her side of the family, and that’s what they did best.
Christmas was just an excuse to do more cooking and celebrating than usual, the entire week leading up to Christmas would be filled

with impromptu meet-ups and fun-filled cook-outs, but Christmas day was a lot quieter and felt more genuine than all the other days.
My grandmother was always an active woman, so she insisted that the cooking for Christmas dinner should be her thing, since she sat back and enjoyed all throughout the holiday. She would put her all into the food she made, and spend all day preparing it with a little help from the Aunties, though she ruled with an ‘iron spoon’. It was all fun and games, since cooking together had always been the way my family bonded, and Granny would have it no other way.
Hours later and a well prepared dinner was there; the smells that filled the house only made you eager to sit around the table and enjoy, but while we waited, older cousins and uncles told us kids, scary stories, and we would play hide and seek in my grandmother’s house, but nothing we did could beat finally digging into Granny’s Christmas dinner.
Everything was made with love and determination to fill the family with more food and love than they came in with, and in that mission, Granny always succeeded. The smile on her face was all we needed to know that she was happy and contented with our little ‘get together’. We would play and laugh well into the night, everyone together with not a frowning face in sight, as Granny intended and always made sure of on Christmas Day.
But the food does not taste the same; the atmosphere is not the same without her. But we try to keep the tradition alive as she intended.” – Julissa Williams [grand- daughter]

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“CHRISTMAS WITHOUT MOMMY…”

“Every Christmas season, we’d start by cleaning the house, just like everybody else. When that’s done, we decorate, we’d put up blinds to match our decorations and everything else that would make our house look fancy. We’d make our shopping list, then we’d go shopping at the market for the beef, pork and everything else to make that ‘prapa’ Pepper pot. We’d buy everything to make our black cake and sponge cake. But the best part was me getting a present for being a good girl.
On Christmas Eve, we’d go to Rosignol to see the festivities; the toys, clothes on sale, music playing, people dancing, the whole Christmas feeling. On Christmas day, the first thing I’d wake up to is a kiss from my Mommy and a great big hug. I’d open my gift in her presence… it was always something I’d wanted. Then I’d hug and kiss her. Throughout the day, all I did was eat, especially the apples and grapes.
Christmas with my mommy was the best. Ever since she passed…it isn’t the same, and I don’t feel like it’s the season to be jolly anymore. She was loving, kind and smart. She had a personality of gold…Christmas was her favourite time of the year. It was mine too, but not anymore.” Shanika Braithwaite [daughter]

 

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