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You beat, kill women. Does that make you a man?
By Leonard Gildarie
I have to confess that I make it a habit to not read certain stories. Domestic violence murders, suicides, and children dying. It affects me badly. Suicide has touched me in a personal way when it visited my family. I understand depression and the effects it has on someone. The supposed guilt and anger and finger-pointing hurt deeply.
On Friday, something happened that has caused me to return to a topic that has bad memories for me. The sufferings of a woman.
Leonard Gildarie
There was a Parent/Teacher meeting at the school of my daughter. One woman, in her early 20s, was among the parents who were there. I was told that in the full view of parents and students, the woman was hauled out of a minibus and beaten by her former partner.
Apparently, the woman had been separated from him for almost two years. There was shared custody of the kids and a restraining order for him to keep away. The woman apparently saw him in the school and alerted the guards. Incensed, the man watched as she sought protection from a driver who placed her in his minibus. However, she was dragged from the vehicle and dealt several cuffs.
This happened in front of parents and students. No one came to her rescue as even the driver was chucked.
The assailant nonchalantly walked away.
A parent placed her in her car and took her to the Golden Grove Police Station.
The mother claimed she had been separated over a year now and had moved on and found someone else.
The father has custody of the children on weekends. He apparently forcibly took custody of the children and told her to come for them. Fearful for her life, she refused. She believes he would kill her.
I don’t care what justification there is, there can be no excuse for hitting your partner.
There is absolutely no justification to kill.
A Sophia man was charged with setting his partner alight last week. Before that, at Mon Repos, a taxi driver is dead and his child and wife in hospital in what is said to be a murder/suicide gone all wrong.
There are so many cases. As soon as we forget them, we are angered again by another case that shocks us to the core. Yet, the cycle continues.
This past week, former Human Services Minister, Priya Manickchand, was being interviewed on Kaieteur Radio by yours truly.
There is a whole host of protection for women. There are the courts. The laws take a dim view on the culture of domestic violence and abuse. Restraining orders and jail time are but a few examples. There is actually a family court in the High Court compound.
I read recently of a woman who was allegedly beaten in a West Demerara police station.
Are we for real? Why is there so much anger?
I have always been fearful of the collateral damage from abusive relationships.
There are the children. That helpless look in their eyes, not fully understanding what it means to lose a father or a mother.
There are the relatives, who will be left with the difficult job of picking up the pieces and not having enough to feed and clothe a few additional mouths.
Domestic violence is an issue that, like suicide, needs a national dialogue and call for actions across the land. We are hurting badly.
I work long hours. As I get older, the pains of waking up and making it through the day become worse. But I am compelled, because I want a better life for my family.
I fear dying early and not being there for them.
I do believe that there are enough resources that can engineer a countrywide response, using regional resources. The Regional Democratic Councils and Neighbourhood Democratic Councils have to move beyond projects and tax collections to playing a greater role in communities. It means that our councillors have to understand that their jobs are more than propaganda and bottom-house meetings.
The churches, mandirs and mosques have to adopt their communities and be available and open to be approached. Our teachers, police, neighbours all have a role to play.
We have hundreds of persons leaving for North America annually.
We are now losing our own not through natural causes, but because of someone’s selfish actions. Our administration and the opposition have to understand that there is a national problem.
Within ourselves, the way we engage, the manner in which we tolerate, will chart our course forward as a nation that stands up for its people.
There is much more that can be said. However, we have to begin the journey with a few steps.
(The views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of this newspaper)
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