Latest update February 16th, 2025 7:49 PM
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Once you meet 50 you got to watch you step
Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown in the economy, the Government decide to implement a scheme to put workers of 50 years of age and older on early, mandatory retirement.
This will create vacancies but de government would not fill dem. At de same time it gun reduce unemployment because de old people gun be retired rather than unemployed.
This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).
Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to the Government to be considered for the SHAFT program (Special Help After Forced Termination).
Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (System Covering Retired-Early Workers).
A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as the Government deems appropriate.
Persons who have been RAPED could get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependents & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).
Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by the Government.
Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. The Government has always prided its self on the amount of SHIT it gives our citizens.
Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring this to the attention of your Parliamentary Representative, who has been trained to give you all the SHIT you can handle.
Sincerely,
The Senate committee on Economic Value of Individual Lives (E.V.I.L.)
This is de reality and is this society Jagdeo was wukking toward. Every time dem boys talk bout de plan he eye does light up. He done retire and getting a hefty pension. De difference wid this scheme is that others who retire wouldn’t be able to live on dem pension.
Talk half and watch out fuh RAPE
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