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GRANDMOTHERS: UNSUNG HEROES OF SOCIETY
In Guyana as in other countries, the ideal family unit comprises a father and a mother. The father is expected to provide financial security, physical protection, safety and to be a strong male figure. They expect to be emulated by their sons.
The primary role of the mother is to provide the nurturing aspect for the children.
In these modern times, even when men are playing their fatherly roles, mothers are usually forced to work outside the home in order to help provide financial support due to the high cost of living and more so, if the father is not earning a decent salary.
As we celebrated Father’s Day last Sunday, the really sad thing is that, from all indications, many fathers are not facing up to their essential roles of taking care of their family. In fact, many have abandoned their families, leaving the mother to fulfill the fatherly role, in addition to being the mother.
Try as hard as they might, mothers cannot fulfill the role of fathers in the home, which has many negative implications for society. What is even more disturbing is that there are a number of mothers who, in spite of their best efforts, simply cannot manage and need help from their mother, the children’s grandmother.
And, there are some mothers who would literally abandon their children into the care of their grandmother for one reason or another.
Grandmothers have to provide financial support from their meagre pensions or salary; they have to discipline and nurture their grandchildren. It is estimated that about 27 percent of children in Guyana are raised directly by grandmothers and a significant number of them are being supported indirectly by grandparents.
Most grandmothers are not young women; many of them do not have well-paying jobs. Quite a few are retired. Many are not capable of running behind their very active grandchildren and therefore cannot keep track of all of them. Their homes are veritable nurseries supported by their meagre income.
In spite of the many serious challenges most grandmothers face, they fulfill their responsibilities to take care of their grandchildren with impressive courage and resolve even though they receive little support from their children and nothing from the fathers of those children.
The stress most grandmothers encounter taking care of their grandchildren from neonates to full-grown adults would overwhelm the average parent. These brave and sacrificial grandmothers are the backbone of our society. They are the ones who end up raising and nurturing an indeterminate number of our nation’s children to become productive and law abiding citizens.
The positive side is that grandmothers are trying to provide a home, food, clothes and an education for many children.
On the negative side, some cannot even provide for themselves, yet they are thrust into the extremely demanding and difficult role of parenting at a time when times are much tougher for them. Only a few grandfathers have taken on the role of parenting their grandchildren.
Most of us have fond memories of our grandmothers. They are a special breed of people who have mellowed with age but possess a wealth of experience and knowledge that society could draw on to raise and nurture children and build a better Guyana.
They are the silent and unsung heroes within society, without whom society would have been worse off than it is today. Guyana should commemorate a national day for grandmothers and there should be an international day for them.
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