Latest update January 6th, 2025 4:00 AM
Jul 31, 2017 Features / Columnists, Freddie Kissoon
In the June 16, 1990 issue of The Economist, there is a description of the slime eel. I quote; “The slime ell is an ancient and disgusting beast. Its loose fitting skin, which has been likened to pyjamas several sizes too large, is durable, easy to remove. Slime eels feed on dead fish, slipping into them through the mouth, gills or anus and eating out almost everything from the inside.
“They have no visible eyes; their mouths open sideways to reveal a tongue studded with teeth. And of course, there are the foul gobbets of slime, of which they produce prodigious quantities. They have no bone and their cartilage is not calcified. They are the most primitive living relation of all of today’s backboned creatures. Their sensory and other systems are fascinatingly ancient.”
I really liked that article on slime eels when I first perused it in The Economist almost seventeen years ago. I got that edition of the news magazine from Father Andrew Morrison, then editor of the Catholic Standard and one of the persons who chaperoned me in journalism. I cut it out and kept it all these years. I have it right in front of me as I am quoting from it. The article caught my interest because it was so applicable to the political personalities of the time.
That article is fantastically more relevant now than when I was the Catholic Standard’s columnist back in the late eighties and early nineties. Every time I see the plethora of the newly found columnists, commentators and letter-writers spouting their slime on the government of the day that is a mere two years old, I wonder which gutter in Guyana or their adopted home far way did they crawl out of.
The article I just quoted from stated that slime eels have no eyes. How pertinent. The part I like about their biology is that their sensory system is ancient. The slime eels that are spreading slime all over the place are indeed blind and have no sensory organs. It has to be. How else do you explain their convenient method of oozing slime?
They spread their slime on the forensic audits; the $500,000 monthly rental for two ministers; the GECOM chairman impasse; the pharmaceutical bond incident, allegations of racism, allegations of corruption, governmental inefficiencies , crime upsurge, the 2017 budget, VAT on private tuition, ministerial incompetence, police misbehaviour, the prison inferno and a river of other failings of the APNU+AFC Coalition.
But in reading their enumerations, you have to ask, where they were hiding all this time. Were they held up in some fetid trench, a miasmic cocoon, a dirty gutter, a dilapidated part of the sewage system or is it that for a long time they have been sleeping inside the anus of dead fish through which they enter as the Economist magazine describes?
Here is another interesting angle on slime eels from that same article; “Plenty of things about them are mysterious. Nobody knows how long they live or much about their sex lives. The males are elusive or perhaps they have sex changes. Slime eels have never been seen to mate. They like tying themselves in overhand knots and running the knot from head to tail to wipe off slime.”
As the coalition government drifts from one lapse to another, the knot will wipe the slime off and drop on the keyboard that they type on. We can expect buckets of slime each day as the government gets older in office. But something happened last week, and the slime eels crawled back into the anus of the fish.
A sad tale emerged from the gutter of dictatorship. Maurice Arjoon won his case against the dictatorship. The slime eels were silent when Arjoon was so bestially treated by the regime of the Champion of Dirt.
Arjoon, when as CEO of New Building Society (NBS), refused to allocate billions of dollars to the building of the Berbice Bridge. He was set upon by the vultures of dictatorship. He was framed for stealing from NBS and lost his job. He was freed on the charge and sued the oligarchs that the slime eels want to see back in power. After a long wait he won against the fallen semi-fascists. He was awarded $79M.
Something else happened last week, the attorney that the Ramotar Government victimized after the European firm, Credit Bureau, made him CEO for its local branch, was appointed a High Court judge. So what do the slime eels have to say about these poetic manifestations of justice? Nothing, because they are blind with no backbone and live in slime.
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