I almost fell into the river trying to find a place to pee

Apr 09, 2017 Features / Columnists, Freddie Kissoon

I hope after the publication of this column, those who have advised me to stop the consistency of highlighting the backward services and primitive conditions of our country will reflect deeply on our need to save this place. It is not easy living in Guyana.
The days of Thursday, April 6 and Friday, April 7 were harassing moments for me. At my age, I should not have to bear up with the anachronisms of a country that has got its Independence from the colonials over fifty years ago.
I had to be in Wakenaam on Thursday last for my niece’s funeral service and cremation. We had to be at the Parika stelling at 8.30am for the arranged speedboat service. I had finished my Friday column, but because we had to go to bed early, I did not send it off to Kaieteur News the night before as I am wont to do. Naturally, we had to be up early Thursday morning for the long journey. But something pierced my mind in the uncivilized hours of Thursday morning.
After our morning chores and we are ready to go to Parika, what happens to my Friday column if on Thursday morning when I am about to email it there is blackout? It would be too early to drop it off by hand at Kaieteur News, and I couldn’t wake up my neighbours to ask them to use the internet. My wife slept away while at 3.30 am on Thursday, I got up to email my Friday column to Adam Harris. This kind of unwanted harassment is what you experience daily in Guyana. But wait! Read on!
At Parika, we left our car in the paid parking facility which is one thousand dollars for a twenty-four-hour period. As we walked toward the speedboat, I saw a sign that read, “Ticket booth and passengers’ waiting room.”
Obviously, they had to have a bathroom service, because it is a major facility in Guyana. You cannot get to see a big part of Guyana named Essequibo unless you use the Parika stelling.
I wanted to pee badly, so I entered and saw the sign that says; “Washroom service – $40.” I didn’t have small notes, so my wife gave me the $40. A pleasant woman, with a winning smile recognized me and with a soft tone intoned; “Sorry, Mr. Kissoon, it is out of order.”
I had to find a place to pee, because the urge was overwhelming. As I looked around there were hundreds of people in the vicinity of the Parika market, Parika stelling and by the riverside. I wasn’t going to use a place where I could be detected, and the next thing you know someone with a smartphone catches me in the act and it turns up on the front page of Bharrat Jagdeo’s newspaper. I kept telling my wife that I had to pee, as the speedboat guys made their final arrangements.
There was only one option. The Parika stelling has fallen apart after all those years of PPP’s rule. The entire eastern half of the stelling’s fulcrum has crumbled. I walked toward the eastern side, trod carefully on the rotten planks, went behind the original building and unzipped. But some of the boards were really shaky. It was a dangerous thing to do, because the river is beneath you. A heavier person would have ended up in the river. Those boards are rotten. I would advise anyone, male or female, not to do what I did.
While entering the speedboat, the straps of one of my wife’s shoes burst. When we reached Wakenaam, she had to be barefooted. During the Hindu service, I went around the island looking for a pair of shoes, but the shops were closed. I eventually found one, and got a pair of handcrafted slippers. I went back to the service, gave my wife them, but as she put them on, the straps for one of them came out.
It was clear to me that people are leaving Wakenaam, from the empty houses and abandoned rice fields I saw. Today, President Granger is in Wakenaam sharing out kites.
On Friday morning, for breakfast, we had butter flaps from a new bakery named Doolie’s. My wife sliced them with eggs inside. Then about 9am, I went to the computer to type my Saturday article comparing the similarities in the rise of Hitler and Trump – blackout came. I had to leave the comfort of my home to type it at Kaieteur News. Wish me luck as I continue live in Guyana.

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I almost fell into the river trying to find a place to pee

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