Quoting the Bible on the character evolution of the child

Nov 02, 2016 Letters

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Dear Editor,
Permit me to add my one bit or bite to an article by Mr. V Bhagwandin entitled “Parenting determines the nature of the next generation” Kaieteur News , October 29, 2016. I wholeheartedly concur with his revelations, but I hope herein these few lines to demystify some areas of concern expressed in his letter.
Let me be the first to openly concede that my discussion of this topic consists of fundamental reasoning on a communal issue that is very complex, technical and somewhat profound. Parents are in serious need of help, as they are certainly not getting it from the myriads of parenting advisors writing today, or from any other known, recognized or trusted source(s). Furthermore, there are very few (if any) parents who would take the time to buy, let alone read a book on proper child rearing/ raising or parenting techniques. (Do not hesitate to give me the numbers if there are).
It appears as if parenting has been put on hold and the kids have taken control. Unrecognizably or un-admittedly, there has been a huge transfer of authority from parents to kids, but not without an accompanying price to pay. In most families what children think, and what children like and what children want now matters much more than what parents think and like and want. The underlying rational is if parents make all the decisions for the child, when will the child ever learn to make his/ her own decision?
Welcome to the new modern liberal parenting, where good parenting means letting the kids decide, and parents have taken to this trend like a barnacle to a ship’s bottom. We now live in a culture where our own kids value the opinion of their peers over that of the parent. This clearly reflects a decline in the importance, attachment and significance of parents in the lives of their children. In our community disrespect towards parents and elders has also become pervasive and destructive.
There is not the slightest inkling of a doubt that 21st century modern day culture has adversely affected parenting, even extending to those outside the home such as teachers. Years gone by parents and teachers taught right from wrong in no uncertain terms. “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you,” and “love your neighbor as yourself” were commands not mere suggestions. Parents stood by these commands with teachers giving helping hands. Now it is of paramount importance that parents recognize that they are surrendering their own responsibility when they allow their children authority over their own lives. I am urging parents to take back the responsibility, not shrink away from it.
Yes, it does take a confident and deep thinking parent to stand up against the modern day parenting trend. Presently there are clear signs that the world is heading in the direction of hell in a hand basket, but timeless wisdom stands supreme. In the biblical book of Proverbs, it is clearly stated, “train a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it.” This perspective stands supreme over any amount of modern day ideology or scientific evidence as to who should have authority over whom.
We should take from the past to make the present last. Many of us parents are striving to bring up our kids differently from how we were brought up. Parents no longer want to use the rod, but between generations there has been a massive parenting shift. Please do not reach for your holster, I am not alluding to, inferring or advocating spanking. Yes, some parents are trying their level best to pull off the emotional coaching, but sadly have not received any prior form of training on the effective use of same. Other parents have made it a top priority that their children are seen and heard, and feel respected at a very early age.
They want their children to be able to express their own emotions and for them to be emotionally available as parents. There is also a parental push towards a democratic household and cultivation of independence and freedom of thought where each family member has a say about what happens. The results are socially catastrophic, as the children are actually overpowering the parents. The theory is no longer viable.
A functional family unit hinges on one social construct—hierarchy. Children need to be given choices in some domain but not in others. A good working rule is for parents to dispel all feeling that it is their job to be their children’s best friend. A parent’s job is to keep the children safe form all harm, to ensure a good night’s rest, and give them a firm grounding and instill confidence that would assist them in knowing their rightful place in society and in knowing who they are as human beings. Good parenting produces better well-grounded citizens. Without authoritative guidance children will adopt their own culture. We cannot allow this to happen as the price is far too costly and may also be deadly. Parents must be returned to the driver’s seat and regain full control.
Yvonne Sam

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