“I used to be a junkie…”

Dec 25, 2015 News

“I saw a female captain from the Salvation Army, her name was Saint Lot and she asked me if I wanted to join the recovery programme, and quick as lightning I said yes. I don’t know why I responded so quickly, but I did. Immediately I felt like all the weight was lifted; I didn’t feel the urge to smoke anymore, I felt a transformation within myself and I wanted to be better.” – Sheikh Shamshudeen

By Suraj Narine

As most of the world celebrates Christmas today; the sharing of love, laughter and the sweet indulgence of wine, rumcake and ginger beer, two men – two survivors – will be reminiscing of harsh times passed.
Though self-inflicted, these once addicted men who claimed to have seen the underbelly of this world; its darkness, its dangerous temptations and its condemnation of all things ugly, have somehow managed to emerge from the darkness with their souls intact.

Social Life Issues on Charlotte Street ,where Jeff and Sheikh would offer counselling.

Therefore, their stories should not be condemned but rather, are to be marvelled at and held close to heart as the jingling of bells echoes in the background.
“I used to be a junkie, a full-blown junkie! I was stink and nobody wanted me around. I use to live in Bourda Market from 1991 to 2009 as a full-out junkie. I’ve walked from Berbice to Charity just working, doing all kinds of odd jobs; cleaning drains and thing. Soon as I get my money I would buy cocaine. Walk and smoke, walk and smoke. I would sleep in the rain and people would pass by and would stare at me. I was fully addicted but deep down inside I wanted to be normal, but I was helpless…” said Sheikh Shamshudeen.
Shamshudeen is a Recruiting Sergeant and Councillor of the Salvation Army Citadel Court and Executive Member and Councillor of Social Life Issues (SLI).
He was born in Cane Grove, East Coast Demerara, on February 6, 1968. When he was six-months- old, his mother and father separated, resulting in him moving in with his grandparents. He went to Secondary School but recalls never having everything; no proper books or footwear. Like most boys in Cane Grove during that time, he would have to pick and sell fruits in order to buy his own little things.

‘I WAS ALONE’

What started out as “kicks” evolved into a stone that he would eventually trip on. While just nine years old, Sheikh would frequent rum shops with his friends, purchase high wine and smoke cigarettes. By the time he got married and moved to Nevis, he was a “complete alcoholic”. It was a few years after, when he visited Guyana, that he would hit rock bottom.
“I came to Guyana to visit and I met up with some old friends that I use to smoke weed with, and we went to this place and we sat down and began to smoke. I observed one of my friends crushing something and putting it in the weed. After I finished smoking I felt this kind of high that I never felt before, so I started to chase it, always looking to find it, but I never did. I lost my wife, my dignity, I lost everything. I began living on the streets, I was homeless. My family; mother, brother; was so ashamed of me that they migrated. I was alone,” he recounted.
Sheikh’s father who resided in the United States made contact with him after many years and offered to help him. His father promised to get him a car, house and someone to marry if he agreed to get professional help. Of course he agreed, and days before he would have completed his treatment at the Salvation Army, he left because someone had stolen his Walkman (small portable audio player), which held some sentimental value to him.
“He (his father) promised to buy me a car, house, to get a nice girl for me to marry if I agreed to get help and I did. I agreed and I walked into the rehab. He asked me what I wanted and I told him that I wanted a Walkman and some gospel CDs, but someone broke into my drawer and stole my Walkman.
It was the first gift my father had given to me and it meant a lot to me. I went to the administrator and I told him, and he said that he couldn’t help me, so I was angry. I packed my bags and I left the Salvation Army four days before completing my treatment. I then started to work at a place on the East Bank and with my first salary, I went straight into the drugs yard and again I was back on the streets.
I saw a family friend one day and I called out to him and I said, ‘lef something man’, and he told me that all my family had migrated, but they left something for me and it was something really nice. So I asked him what it was and he said that it’s not something that I could see, it was something to be heard; from his lips to my ear. So I ask him again what it was and he said to me, your family say that they left a casket for you so that they can push you in the ground. That thing hurt me to my core…,”he related.

TRANSFORMATION

But Sheik continued to live on the streets “hustling” money to smoke. He recalled that the money never looked like paper but like the substance that he was addicted to. Many years passed, though it seemed like days, Sheikh remained a slave to his addiction only to be emancipated by a woman called “Saint Lot”.

Sheikh and Nadira in their uniforms, ready for work.

He said, “I was in Bourda Market one Sunday and a man came up to me and said that a Captain was on the road to see me. So I went and I saw a female captain from the Salvation Army, her name was Saint Lot and she asked me if I wanted to join the recovery programme, and quick as lightning I said yes. I don’t know why I responded so quickly, but I did. Immediately I felt like all the weight was lifted; I didn’t feel the urge to smoke anymore, I felt a transformation within myself and I wanted to be better.”
He went into rehab for the second time on November 9, 2009, and before completing his six-month therapy, he was given a chance to rear chickens. He was then recruited as an office assistant at the Salvation Army and later transferred to their headquarters at Alexander Street and South Road.
He then met his wife Nadira who worked not too far from where he was stationed. They got married and now live in Diamond. Sheikh is now a vocal member in his church and he volunteers at the Social Life Issues (SLI) where he visits schools and teaches the youth of tomorrow about the consequences of substance abuse.
“I just want people, and relatives of people who are addicted to know that there is still hope. If I can do it, maybe they can too. I have been clean for almost seven years now. I urge that relatives don’t give up on your ones in the streets. They need help. They might not say it but they need it. I pass and I see people who are worse than I was and I pray for them; I ask God to have mercy on them. There is still hope… And I thank God for always being there for me…,” he added.
Today, Sheikh and Nadira after breakfast and prayers will be visiting family members. Nadira says that she will be cooking baked chicken, fried rice, macaroni and the two-pound chocolate cake she plans to surprise Sheikh with.

AND THEN THERE WAS JEFF…

Then there was Jeff Roberts, another drug addict.
“…I was heading back to the drug block around 6 o’clock in the morning but I was in pain and I couldn’t make it. So I spread my cardboard down and I made a bed at Robb and Alexander Streets. People say it was my imagination ,but I knew I heard a voice call out to me saying, ‘get up and go get help or you will die’. When I got up, I had no pain; I had no urge to smoke anymore. I wanted help, I needed it…” said Jeff Roberts, a route 40 Bus Operator turned Motivational Speaker and Councillor at Social Life Issues (SLI) and Salvation Army.

A drug-free Jeff Roberts

Jeff, 60, was born on November 16, 1955. He grew up in a stable household where his father was a Headmaster and his mother, a dedicated housewife. Jeff was the seventh of eight children. He attended the West Demerara Secondary School, but was later transferred to Zeeburg Secondary. Although an accomplished mechanic, due to his early exposure to harmful substances his life plummeted to a point where he had given up on all hope, and life itself held no meaning.
“I was exposed to marijuana in 1972 at Carifesta; I was 17. But what caused my dereliction was crack cocaine. I had a family; a wife and three children. But I was involved in an extra-marital relationship with a woman whose husband was a drug dealer. She would lace the weed with crack cocaine and it used to feel so good. Eventually I began purchasing it for myself. Many days I use to go home without money but my wife got suspicious and things began to go bad. I moved out because I was ashamed. She (his wife) tried to help me but I didn’t know how to let her…,” said Jeff.
He recalled his mother who came to visit, had made contact with him. She called him to stay with her and as she left to book her flight the next day to go abroad, Jeff stole her jewellery – something that he feels terrible about even today. He also mentioned that his mother was instrumental in his recovery because she not only supported him emotionally, but financially as well.
His path to recovery came two days after he had awoken in the hospital due to an injury he received trying to lift an engine. The doctor told him that he couldn’t be treated, so he left the hospital. He was on his way to the “drug block” when he felt a sharp pain in his lower extremities – his injury was getting worse – so he laid his cardboard down and he made a bed. He was drifting off when he heard a voice calling out to him to go get help. Jeff got up and recalls feeling no pain or tiredness, he felt uplifted and he felt something stir from within. He was ready to take that leap.
“I walked right into the Rehab and I called collect to my mother, but she didn’t answer. I called again later and she replied. She spoke to the administrator and four months after, I was healed. My mother was my rock,” Jeff said.
Jeff’s mother passed away sometime last year.
He is now 10 years and six months clean. He currently resides on the East Coast of Demerara and is in a common law relationship with a woman, and though the two children living with them aren’t his, he is moving to adopt the younger one, who is 10 years old.
He also stressed on the importance of family members maintaining healthy relationships with loved ones who are addicted or homeless. Jeff now travels the country speaking at forums through SLI, educating young students about the consequences of drug abuse and at the same time, sharing his experience.