CELL PHONES ETIQUETTE AND A SILENT FAMILY GATHERING

Jul 26, 2015 News

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By Ralph Seeram

It was a very surreal moment; I was on my cell phone messaging friends in Guyana. I looked around the living room; the two-year-old plus granddaughter was on her iPhone playing games. My nearly six-year-old grandson was on his Kindle; their parents were on their phones also. A weird silence dominated the room, punctuated by the sounds of the games the kids were playing on their devices. This scene is being repeated in so many homes today.
I was in the waiting room of my doctor some time ago. There were eight or so other patients waiting; the room was in total silence. Everyone was on their cell phones, old and young, either playing games or texting.
I went to do a blood test recently; there were about ten persons in the waiting area. You probably could have heard a pin drop on the tile floors. And yes, everyone was on their cell phones, some texting. No conversations.
Cell phones today no doubt are a blessing, but some of the older folks consider it a curse also. As the cell phones get smarter us humans are getting dumb. We are losing the art of conversation, losing the art of writing and spelling and don’t let me even go into grammar.
I can understand receiving texts using greetings such as, gm, gn, how r u, and other abbreviations which took me a while to grasp such as, the most popular OMG, followed by the LOL, IDK, NP, SRSLY, TTYL, SUP and dozens of other terms that personally I cannot decipher yet.
What is troubling and I am noticing this among young people, is that these terms are creeping into their standard writing; some English teachers can attest to this. The editor of this newspaper once told me some time ago that it creeps into the articles of some reporters.
I recall when I got my first cell phone somewhere in the early to mid 90’s, you purchased time by the hours. In fact I can recall buying two hours, yes folks, you read right, for the entire month— two hours— of course you could buy more hours at a princely sum back then.
Then cell phones were considered an emergency tool and a luxury. I basically contacted my family to say “hi and bye”. Conversations were very brief—to the point. Then the rates went down, talk time increased and we started talking longer and longer.
Up came the Apple with the smart iPhone and the entire world changed in terms of communications. We can talk, text, and do a host of thing that most of you know you do on a daily basis.
Centuries ago it was a different world; people had to wait months to get news from other countries. The telegraph leap-frogged that to same day and, with the advent of radio, it became instant but it was never in the palm of our hands. Not everyone had a radio or could buy newspapers, so the information was still restricted to a selected few.
I recalled as a “little boy” I loved reading newspapers. Not everyone bought newspapers, and I made it a routine to go to a teacher’s house to read the papers every day. Later when I moved to another area, the nearby shop was like a library, everyone went to read the newspapers, splitting up the ages to read.
Fast forward to today, in the palm of my hand I can read all the news, from all over the world, see TV programmes and the whole gamut.
With the advent of social media like Facebook, Facebook messenger and other Apps, the world changed dramatically, for the better or as some would say, for the worse.
Herein lies the problem of social etiquette. Because of the speed of communication, and the fact that places like Facebook make us connect instantly to family and “friends”, we tend to be on the phone more often.
So the problem is when should we be on our cell phone? If I am in company, in conversation and a text or message comes in, should I answer it or ignore for the moment? Should I ask for an excuse, only to ask for another excuse if another message comes in?I find myself in conversation, and whipping out my phone to answer text or messages, or check updates on news or my FB page. I am already being accused of being addicted to my phone, which to some extent is true.
Am I showing bad manners when I multi task having a conversation and messaging and texting at the same time? Granted not all messages require urgent attention, but I do find myself doing it.
In my opening paragraph, I mentioned the silence in the family as everyone was on their phone. That is not the norm, as the kids have their TV and phone time. But the trend is there, where families do not communicate much now.
Even at mealtime most of us still want to be connected.
My little grandson gives me the best excuse for watching his iPhone while eating, “Papa you know it makes me eat faster”. Yes, he already figured the art of manipulation. But his expertise has its advantages. Recently he put two grown men to shame, as we could not figure out a remote to go the internet to search sites like Netflix etc. Seeing we were struggling, the little genius took the remote and “breezed” through the programmes and got us a Netflix movie.
Now even the TV is splitting families. Time was when family sat together to watch a movie. Not so now, you go to Netflix and everyone has the profile they prefer. So the kids gravitate to their Kindle or Ipad to watch their programme, away from the adults.
This “smart” technology has now gone to Television. Recently I went to purchase a television. I “set my eyes” on one because of price, but the salesman told me that’s old technology, that why it’s cheap, that I need to buy a LED smart TV.
So what’s the difference? I asked. “It shows the same programme.
“Oh no,” he said, and went on to the virtues of ‘smart TV”.
Now I have a new TV that is wireless, no cable to connect, can connect to the Internet, and get my Netflix, You Tube and host of other programmes, read my Kaieteur News on a large screen TV. Oh did I tell you I cut my cable Television service and only retained my Internet Service. New TV made me smart, but not smart enough to figure out all the features, I will have to call on the little genius to come over and figure out a few things for me.
All this texting and messaging is creating medical problems. Recently, one of my fingers got a bit swollen, only to be told it’s because of texting. So doctors are now seeing cases of Arthritis in fingers due to too much texting. Me, I started using my voice texting, don’t mind it mistranslates my Guyanese accent.
So folks, I BRB next week, IDK what I will be writing but 4SHOO I will have NP finding a topic SRSLY, it’s NP, right now I am LMAO but TTYL, XOXO. L8R YO.
Ralph Seeram can be reached at email: ralph3652hotmail.com or Facebook.

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