Parents are neglecting their children

Mar 02, 2015 Features / Columnists, Peeping Tom

---

A few days ago, I saw a group of small boys roaming the streets. The look on their faces announced that they were up to mischief.
They began by pelting a dog walking aimlessly on the road. Then they began to interfere with an old man. A young buxom lass passed by, and she attracted some attention from them. I wondered what next they would be up to. I did not have the time to wait and see, but I asked myself how the parents of these young boys could allow them to be straying.
Parents are quick to blame the authorities whenever their children get into trouble with the law. They are quick to make excuses which exculpate themselves from blame. They often blame the lack of employment for their children taking to a life of crime, but they never blame their own failings as parents. They are quick to say that it is harassment by the police that force their children to be deviant, never accepting that it is precisely because their children get away with rogue behaviour that encourages further acts of criminality.
I refer to the broken windows theory. This theory states that, if a window in a building is broken and is left unfixed, this will encourage vandals to break more windows, and eventually to break into the building.
The theory, therefore, is that problems should be addressed in their infancy, before they get out of hand, since small, petty crimes can lead to more major crimes. By simply preventing low-level crime and anti-social behaviour, a society can avoid the emergence of major crimes.
Fixing “broken windows”, nipping crime in its early stages, is the strategy that led to the clean-up of New York City. I believe, however, that this approach is more relevant to Guyana, where there is a great deal of petty crimes that go unreported and which can lead the perpetrators to venture into more daring acts of criminality.
I believe we have to begin to fix these anti-social “broken windows” at the level of the family. There are far too many parents who are allowing their children to go off playing with other boys in the community or neighbourhood without adequate supervision.
Some parents pay no attention to children when they are at home. I once saw a mother sitting watching television, and when she was asked where her child was, she could not give an answer. Neither did she care, as long as the child did not disturb her while she was watching The Young and the Restless.
This is how problems originate, especially for young boys, who, as we say in Guyana, are “allowed to be boys.” They are allowed to roam free with other boys, some of whom can be bad influences. When in the company of other boys, the temptation arises to engage in some destructive behaviour, such as pelting an animal, or it may be simply raiding a fruit tree in someone’s yard, or it could be interfering with a weaker child on the road.
As the gang gets away with certain acts, they are emboldened to become more brazen. They may stop a school child and take away his/her money, or graduate to robbing someone of their watch or cell phone.
This is why I am insisting that parents take responsibility for their children. If your child has to go out of the home, you should know at all times where he or she is going, with whom he or she will be, and what is being done.
Today, too many parents are allowing their children to go off unsupervised, and when they find out some of the mischief that their children are engaged in, it is too late, because a life of crime has already taken root.
I do not excuse any parent who says that he or she had no control over what his or her children became.
This is an admission of failure.
Children are being given too much freedom to roam as they please, and this is leading them into the clutches of bad company. While it is easy to blame those who corrupt these children, ultimate responsibility must lie with the parents who failed to supervise their children’s free time.
Some parents have no fixed time for children to return home. In my house, there are fixed mealtimes, and if you are not there at the scheduled hour, you not only have to make your own meal, but you have to give an explanation as to where you were.
I urge parents, also, not to allow their children to loiter or to wander aimlessly with their peers. Children must be given constructive playtime. They should be encouraged to play games with their friends, not so much because the games keep them out of trouble, but because they will learn to compete; and by competing they will want to do better, and by aiming to do better they will have little time to engage in deviant behaviour.
Parents also need to give children designated chores around the home, to teach them responsibility. Even if it is to make up their beds in the mornings, children should be asked to help out around the home.
The problem with many children today is not that they have too little free time; rather, it is that they do not have properly supervised free time.
Instead of allowing their children to get into bad company, all parents should make an effort to be involved in a positive way in the lives of their young ones, so that they will never have to receive that dreaded call that something terrible has happened to their child through involvement in crime.

---

---