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Dem boys seh…De fat man roast Glenn nuts

Dec 22, 2014 Dem Boys Seh, Features / Columnists, News

Wid couple days lef before Christmas nuff people deh running about fuh gifts fuh exchange wid one and all. Some people don’t get but dem got to give to dem woman if not dem get nutten. Everybody know all who deh in that category.
No name, no warrant, no lawsuit. Dem boys know de fat man who run into a pet store Saturday gone looking for an unusual Christmas gift for his wife. She already got everything.
The shop owner suggested a parrot named Glenn, which could sing famous Christmas carols. He can sing chutney too.
De fat man seh that seem like de perfect gift.  “How do I get him to sing?” de fat man ask, excitedly.
“Simply hold a lighted match directly under his feet”, de shop owner seh and he hold a lighted match under de parrot’s left foot. Glenn begin to sing: “Jingle Bells! Jingle Bells! …”
De shop owner then hold another match under the parrot’s right foot. Then Glenn tune changed. He start fuh sing “Dem a watch meh.”
De fat man was so impressed that he paid the shop-keeper and run home as quickly as he could with Glenn under his arm. When he wife see she gift she was overwhelmed.
“How beautiful!” She exclaimed, “Can he talk?”
“No,” she husband replied, “But he can sing. Leh me show yuh.”
So he pull out ee lighter and put it under Glenn’s left foot, as the shop-keeper had shown him, and Glenn sing “Jingle Bells! Jingle bells!…”
De fat man then move de lighter to Glenn’s right foot, and out came: “Dem a watch meh…”
The wife, her face filled with curiosity, then ask, “What if we hold de lighter between his legs?”
The fat man didn’t know. He and all get excited. “Leh we try it,” he answered. So ee hold de lighter between Glenn’s legs.
Glenn twist ee face, clear his throat, and the little parrot sing out loudly like it was the performance of ee life:
“Glenn’s nuts roasting on an open fire….”
De wife then ask de fat man, wha you gun sing if I hold de lighter between you legs?
Dem boys seh he would surely sing “My love fuh Jagdeo will never die.”

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