From the Diaspora… SO WHO IS YOUR BEST FRIEND?

Sep 14, 2014 News

---

By Ralph Seeram

Everyone on Facebook has friends these days, some in the thousands. I have heard people boast of how many “friends” they have, and they say it with sincerity as if they know and did meet these “friends”. Too often these days people get confused as to who are real friends as opposed to virtual “friends”. If you want a friend with unconditional love, please get a DOG.
Not that there is anything wrong with internet friends, I know people whose only friends are those on Facebook; they have very little contact with real people. Nothing is wrong with that. I have found and reconnected with many boyhood friends scattered around the world.
Then we have best friends, and I am talking about the real world; the kind of friends that would be there for you in a crisis, who would be there to give you moral, financial, physical and emotional support depending on the crisis.  You have either been helped by such friends or you reached out to them in their time of need.
Sad to say such friends are rare these days, especially here in North America. There are friends like the “user” types who only befriend you for what they can get from you. Then there are the “lukewarm” types who are your friends in the good times. The minute you have a crisis they disappear off the planet. Some men have ‘rumshop’ friends, drinking buddies if you may. After they leave the “rumshop” the friendships end. Then you have the workplace friends. These are the ones that will quickly “stab you in the back” out of jealousy. Don’t even make the mistake of inviting them to your house.
I can count on my left fingers the number of best friends I have, most of whom still live in Guyana. One lives here in the U.S. I am talking of friends going back over forty years. It’s one of the reasons I go back to Guyana often. In my over 30 years in North America, I have not made any best friend.  I have what Facebook categorizes as acquaintances, but not on the level of my friends in Guyana.
Speaking of best friends, I am reminded of my late friend Deo. From boyhood to the time I left Guyana we were inseparable. If he had a dollar it was mine and if I had a dollar it was his. He was the kind of friend who would as they say literally “give the shirt off his back” to help you. Friends like Deo are very rare these days.
It was Bob Marley who said your best friend could be your worst enemy. That could be true in many ways, but with a friend like my late friend Deo, you had nothing to fear.
I may be walking in a “minefield” here or treading “dangerous waters” by saying women experience more problems with friendship than men. I have women who told me they prefer the company of men than women, as men are not petty and do not gossip like women. I am not sure about the gossip part. I hate to break it to you women, men do gossip and it’s mostly about women.
Most of you readers must have seen the Facebook video of a soldier returning home only to be smothered with love and kisses from his dog before he can even greet his family, or the dog that fainted with excitement on being reunited with its owner.
I saw a video recently with a woman beating a child when her dogs intervened. As the child cowered in a corner, one of the dogs stepped in between the woman and the child barking, preventing her from hitting the child, she pushed the dog away and the other dog stepped up between her and the kid; she pushed the dog away and the other dog jumped again between them barking aggressively at her. She realized that the dog would have attacked her if she attempted to hit the child.
It was U.S President Harry Truman who made the famous quote, “if you want a friend in Washington get a dog”, implying that a dog will be a better friend than politicians.
A dog is indeed man and woman’s best friend. You can tell your dog your secret. He will not share it; will not gossip about you. A dog will literally give his life defending you; it is loyal and gives unconditional love.
You come home and the first person to greet you at the door is your dog, with unlimited kisses or licking. I go to my daughter’s house and I cannot get beyond the door without accepting love from her dog DJ. She is a great protector. Anywhere my grandson goes she goes and sits next to him. If he goes on the bed she jumps right next to him on the bed; I doubt anyone can do any harm to him when she is around.
The subject of a dog’s love and friendship is nothing new and should not be new to Guyanese. Our own Dave Martins and the Tradewinds wrote and sang about it years ago, as only Dave Martins can. He has put it much better than I can. For the young go to ITunes; try to buy it, rather than getting it free, look up “Friendship” and “ I want to be a puppy”. You will hear how the husband sleeps on the couch and puppy sleeping in bed, as well as the perils of friendship. It will be worth your .99 cents.
After hearing those songs you will either want to be a puppy or get a dog for a friend.
Ralph Seeram can be reached at email; [email protected] or on Facebook.

---

---