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Dem boys seh…Enjoy Mother’s Day

May 11, 2014 Dem Boys Seh, Features / Columnists, News

Friday a li’l boy get shoot after he thief. He daady give one story how he been to buy cigarette. He mammy give another version. She claim how she send she son to collect pictures to send abroad.
She then go on fuh claim how he beg she fuh cook split peas cook-up. She seh that he can’t eat anything now. That story mek dem boys remember de fat crook, Brazzy and de Jagdeo. It mek dem remember Bobby and de rest of dem.
Dem tell so much story that people don’t know how much right from how much wrong. Dem boys ain’t able to name all dem story now. Some too dutty and stinking.
Dem was just like de thief man mammy and daady.
People ketch nuff of these people thiefing and dem ain’t thief li’l bit. Dem ain’t snatch nobody bag. De difference is that none of dem get shoot. And dem do nuff thing to de Guyanese people.
Today is Mother’s Day. Dem boys know that most of de mothers sweet and special. Nuff of dem crooks mooma talking how dem wish dem did push pin in dem pickney mole.
One of Jagdeo sissy didn’t have nutten nice fuh seh bout he. But dem boys hear how Bobby mooma seh she shoulda push pin true he navel.
As fuh Brazzy he grandmother tell dem boys   that she wish she did push de pin in Brazzy grandfather mole to mek sure that Brazzy did never come on this earth.
And de thing is that nuff of dem scamps and crooks gun carry expensive gift fuh impress dem mooma today. Rob de Earth mooma seh she na want none gift from he because she nah able leh de tears of de nation fall pon she in these olden days.
Irfaat father tell dem boys that he mother wish that she did abandon he. Is every day she got to read something in de paper and by de time she done read she get headache.
De boss man fuh de Waterfalls paper, he mooma did regret she get he, too. She never use to tek he Mother’s Day gift. She always thought that he use to get it from Jagdeo. But when she see wha he tun out to be, later on, she die a very happy and peaceful woman.
To dem mothers who encourage dem children to thief, rape rob and scamp de poor people of this country, dem boys wish you change and get you children fuh change in time fuh next year.
To all de rest of happy, sweet, honest, decent, pretty and sexy moms, a happy Mother’s Day. May de next Mother’s Day be even better and happier for you. And we give you this Mother’s Day laugh.
Four brothers left for UG, and they became successful doctors and lawyers.
One Mother’s Day dem discussed the gifts dem send fuh dem 95-year-old mommy.
The first seh, “I build a big house in Diamond fuh she.”
The second seh, “I had a large TV room build in she old house.”
The third seh, “I had a new car deliver to she.”
The fourth seh, “You know Mama love reading and you know she can’t read anymore because she can’t see good.
“I meet a preacher who tell bout a parrot who could recite the whole Bible. It tek ten pastors almost 10 years to teach him. To get the bird, I had to mek a donashun of $50,000 a month for five years to the church, but it was worth it. Mama only has to name the chapter and verse, and the parrot will recite it.”
The other brothers were impressed. Mama sent out her “Thank You” notes.
She wrote: Bharrat, the house you built fuh me is so big that I live in only one room, but  I have to clean the whole house. Thanks anyway.”
“Bobby, I too old to travel. I stay home and get all me ration deliver home, so I never use de car. But the thought was good. Thanks.”
“Boyah, you give me an expensive TV room with nice and fancy sound system. It can hold 50 people, but all me friends dead, I don’t hear good anymore  and I half  blind. I’ll never use it. Thank you for the gesture, just the same.”
“Dearest Brazzy, you were the only son to have the good sense to give a little thought to your gift. The chicken was delicious. Thank you so much.”
And dem ten pastor? None was Edghill de Ten.
Love, Mama

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