Upsurge in domestic violence… Is enough being done to reach out to young men?

Jan 19, 2014 News

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By Dewjendra Rooplall
An uneasy development has been growing and expanding exponentially in Guyana of recent. When we reflect on 2013 and see the overwhelming amount of domestic violence cases being perpetuated against women by their significant others, one has to ask oneself where are we going wrong with the young men and boys in our society for them to rationalize that the only way out of a relationship is by killing their spouses and then take their lives.

When one looks from a sociological perspective at the issue, the first thought that comes to mind is how we are socializing our boys and young men and is enough being done to reach out to young men?
In an attempt to find the answer, I spoke with experts within the social field who can authoritatively speak on the issues of men and domestic violence within society.
Margaret Kertzious, Crisis Services Coordinator of the Help and Shelter Guyana, a Non Governmental Organization (NGO) that deals with high incidences of violence, poverty and drug abuse, explained that in the same way that women are being empowered to address domestic violence, men should be empowered. There is critical need to correct this situation, she said.
Kertzious explained that domestic violence in relationships between two people is not a one way street. “So when two people are involved in a relationship it can’t be a one way street, so if women are being empowered, then we need to also empower the men and that is my main concern.”
“Look at what is happening in the school system, look what is happening around us, when we hold workshops a lot of women are coming and men aren’t coming. We need to change that whole scenario, another thing they need to do is speak out, they need to talk, they [men] just suppress everything… their anger and everything, so when things happen they just explode like a pressure pot.”
The Crisis Coordinator expressed that the situation has a lot to do with how men are socialized. “Right now the girls

know what they want at a certain age… boys don’t know what they want… all men are looking for is money because they want to fete the girls and so on. Academically the girls are moving on; look at UG [University of Guyana] a typical example, look at the graduates.”
Kertzious believes that young men should be enlisted in programmes tailored for their development. “They don’t have a shelter for men who are abused and society doesn’t deal with men in an appropriate way …when they complain to the police or go to doctors they are being laughed at, so the whole process has to change, I don’t know how we are going to change it but it has to start from somewhere.”
With respect to men killing women, Margaret said “I think men are not in their normal senses, they are using alcohol or drugs or something … I don’t know people are tripping too easy, we got to look at the mental issues, the experiences men would’ve had, I really can’t detect what’s the problem, it seems now that these murders are premeditated, the men are planning these things, we need to do more research on behavior and attitudes, the family and the homes and in general a community collectiveness to deal with the issue.. a lot of work needs to be done.”
She stressed that poverty also plays a pivotal role in the equation of domestic violence since in most cases women and mothers condone violence because men are significant financial contributors to the home.
Reverend Kwame Gilbert, a senior Pastor and  Advisor on Social Policy to the President of Guyana among other pertinent portfolios, suggested that attention be given to the driving force behind this kind of violent behavior among men and then trace it back to the whole issue  of how men and boys are socialized in the home and environment and how they might not have had the opportunity to be developed in the context of ensuring that they “are first of all thought to be human beings first and men second.”

“If we are to look at violence, you have what is called a propensity to violence, violent tendencies can begin as early as three years old. There are social drivers which may create the environment such as family, poverty, unemployment and education.”
“I don’t believe enough is being done to counsel men, I believe we are not tackling it from a holistic perspective. What we are doing is looking at the symptoms and addressing the symptoms, we have to address the causation, what’s causing boys and men to develop these violent tendencies and then later on become  abusive in relationships,” said Gilbert.
Gilbert expressed that more needs to be done in the educational institutions as well as from the community level.
Religious institutions according to the Pastor, should be more involved in the process of providing help and counseling to men.
Gilbert said that administratively speaking, the NGO’s are better equipped to address the issue of violence while government should deal with the resourcing aspect. He said that in order to fix the problem, help has to come from the community level and more facilities need to be available for men. He believes there needs to be a more proactive approach in terms of getting where the men are, such as rum shops and basketball courts.
Meanwhile, Head of the Men’s Affairs Bureau, Patrick Findlay said that in Guyana’s context, a lot of men don’t, in our vernacular, “want to take lef” and a woman leaving conveys a sense of shame and loss.
“I have found out the core fear of every man is fear of failure; so when a women says she is leaving him it is being construed in his mind that he has failed in the relationship.” He said that work is ongoing to address violence but stressed that more needs to be done. “This issue has to do with the masculinity of men, when men sit and talk they don’t talk about their feelings, they don’t want to say I have a problem because masculinity is what is expected, it boils down back to the way our society is constructed and the way we think” these are all little things that boil up and explode when least expected, said Findlay.
According to Findlay, another issue is being raised in a home where the parents quarrel and fight and that transgression is passed to the children. He explained that the home has to deal with the issue in an amicable way so that the violent behavior is not passed to the child.
Findlay expressed that work also has to be done on “the way people communicate their issues.”
He also mentioned that one of the challenges he faces is getting people, especially men, to come out to related fora. He did say that they (Men’s Affairs Bureau) go out to football events, rum shops and places where men are found and try to talk about the issue of violence and men in general. He said that a lot of work has been done in Essequibo, Wakenaam, Black Bush Polder, on the East and West Bank but expressed that if “we can multiply that by 100 that would be great.” Much more work he says has to be done.
According to Findlay, the Bureau is a place where men can come and there is the Probation Department where special accommodation is made for men to talk to their fellow men, he said also that the Help and Shelter does a good job as well as pastors.
“The religious bodies should play a greater role in counseling men since it’s more than a government initiative and we are looking for persons of repute from the community such as Pandits, Pastors, and Head teachers” said Findley.  He said that those persons can talk to those affected persons within the community as opposed to having persons travelling to specific locations to get counseling.

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