Society has been looking in the wrong direction in addressing domestic violence

Aug 14, 2013 Letters

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Dear Editor,
I wish to use this opportunity to suggest to the Guyanese public and media, the urgent need for a paradigm shift with respect to the general perception of domestic violence and gender based violence. My compulsion for sharing this perspective emanated from a talk done by Jackson Katz, featured on TED.com (video can be viewed directly at http://www.ted.com/talks/jackson_katz_violence_against_women_it_s_a_men_s_issue.html).
The horrendous issue of gender based violence, particularly violence against women, has in recent years received laudable prominence by the local media, especially the private media outlets. This dastardly act must continue to stand out in the press and be abhorred upon. What Katz spoke of specifically is the perception of the issue and the way in which this can significantly alter society’s view with respect to dealing with the issue, and letting the blame fall where it should.
Katz, an American anti-sexist activist, highlights the fact that the way society views violence against women is a contributing factor to the continuation of this contemptible and abominable act and an impediment to actively addressing the problem. He bluntly outlines the reality that society views violence against women as a “women’s issue” when it is in fact, at its absolute core, a “men’s issue.”
When one thinks of ‘domestic violence’ and ‘gender based’ violence, the first thing that comes to mind is women and the abuse of women. Little or no thought is given to the actual perpetrators, ‘men’ (bear in mind gender based violence can entail men being the victims as well). What the perception of gender based violence and domestic violence as ‘women’s issues’ does, is it diverts attention away from the real issue. It detracts men from being concerned and as Katz said, “It gives men an excuse to not care.”
For too long, society has been looking in the wrong direction when it comes to addressing violence against women. Katz used simple sentence modifications to show how a ‘men’s issue’ suddenly becomes a ‘women’s issue’. Look at the term “John beat Mary.” This term puts the focus on the perpetrator of the abuse: John. Now let’s look at “Mary was beaten by John.” Already, the focus has started to shift from John (the perpetrator) to Mary (the victim). And even further with “Mary was beaten,” “Mary was battered,” “Mary is a battered woman.” By the last phrase, John was completely wiped out of the field of focus! This is where the media becomes unequivocally essential in ensuring that the right message is sent, when reporting on issues of gender based violence. A simple rearrangement of a headline from “Woman beaten to death” to “Man beats woman to death” can go a long way in changing the perception which inhibits the elimination of this problem.
Another facet to this unwanted scenario is ‘victim blaming’. This is the very last thing an abused individual needs, ‘blame’. Phrases such as “Why was she dressed like that?” and “What was she doing on the road that late?” are all too common. They expose the reality that subconsciously, our cognitive structures are designed to blame victims. Victim blaming only exacerbates the situation. The primary focus needs to be shifted to the perpetrators: MEN. Too many domestic violence workshops are swarmed by women, with few or no men in attendance.
The reason for this seemingly unending spate of abuse by men is no secret. It is based on the social and peer culture of male dominance along with insecurity. We are cultured to accept that we as men have a certain role in society and when women start to rock the boat, we retaliate in whatever way possible, whether verbally or physically, to reaffirm our perceived niche of dominance.
Recognizing the source of the problem and putting the blame at the feet of abusive men is the first step to addressing the issue. What needs to happen next is something which we don’t see very often. We men need to break our complicit silence. This is only way the peer culture of male violence against women will change. Men who are not abusive need to stand up to men who are. We are not always the cause of the problem, but we are the violent reactors in the situation, and we also hold the solution. It is not fair for the burden of ending this plague to be placed on the shoulders of little boys. The current generation of adult men needs to act. Martin Luther King (Jr.) once said, “In the end what will hurt us the most is not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.”
Let us stop treating violence against women as a domestic issue. It is a National issue and we all have a role to play, especially us MEN.
Mahendra Doraisami

 

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