SMARTY PLANTS

May 20, 2013 Features / Columnists, Tony Deyal column

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When I first moved into the house in the quiet suburb of Cedar Grove in Antigua, the bougainvillea plants that face the road were sedate, waving gently as the wind blew in from the Atlantic and displaying their splendid blooms for all to see.  Now, they are like Venus Flytraps.  As soon as I am anywhere in the vicinity, they reach out their thorny limbs to inflict grievous bodily harm on me.
The flowers smell different, giving out a pungent aroma.  They form a phalanx bristling with spears like the Ancient Greeks or Spartans.  They leave branches on the ground that penetrate my rubber slippers and bore into my very sole.
It all started when the razor grass from next door infiltrated my yard and moved in with the bougainvillea.  They seemed to have grassed on me and maybe got all the dirt about what I did because the next thing that happened is that the dangerous Acacia or “Cassie” plants joined them in what seemed to be fertile but not fruitful discussions.  Now I’m stuck with some smarty plants that are so close together they want to start up a hedge fund.
If you think this is far-fetched some recent research and earlier studies support my contention that plants are known by the company they keep and they are smart enough to make an ash out of anyone.  A National Geographic article earlier this month claimed, “Plants might be able to eavesdrop on their neighbors and use the sounds they ‘hear’ to guide their own growth, according to a new study that suggests plants use acoustic signaling to communicate with one another.  ‘We have shown that plants can recognize when a good neighbor is growing next to them,’ said study co-author (Dr.) Monica Gagliano, an evolutionary ecologist at the University of Western Australia… plants can not only ‘smell’ the chemicals and ‘see’ the reflected light of their neighbors, they may also ‘listen’ to the plants around them.”
The new study showed that chili plants sprouted faster and were healthier, compared with those grown in isolation, when they were grown next to “good neighbors,” such as basil, that help inhibit weed growth and pests.  The results were the same when the plants were separated by black plastic that prevented them from exchanging light or chemical signals.  The chili seedlings could tell what kinds of plants their neighbors were and respond accordingly. This study follows an experiment performed last year in which chili plants could similarly sense when they were surrounded by “bad neighbors,” such as fennel, that release chemicals that inhibit the growth of other plants.
Another research finding by Dr. Gagliano supports my suspicions that the delinquency of my bougainvillea is due mainly to bad company.   She has found that they can respond with sound and can even ‘talk’ to each other by clicking in their roots.  Using powerful loudspeakers, the scientists heard clicking sounds coming from the roots of corn saplings.  They were amazed.  They then found that when suspended in water the saplings grew towards the source of a constant clicking noise that was played to them.  Dr. Gagliano said that the research “opens up a new debate on the perception and action of people towards plants” which she suggested could perhaps be treated “as living beings in their own right.”  But can they supplant humanity as the dominant species?  Is there going to be a new plantocracy?
Who knows?  While the language that plants use is a monkey puzzle, the BBC reported that scientists at Exeter University have captured on film the process by which plants alert each other to possible dangers.  When a plant is under attack it releases a gas which warns neighbouring plants to protect themselves.
Safiya Arslan, a research fellow in molecular biology, writing in Fountain Magazine (Can Plants Talk?) says, “There are lots of interesting examples of how plants communicate with insects. For instance, in self-defense against insects eating its leaves, a plant emits a volatile chemical that signals other insects, who are predators of those insects eating the plant. A byproduct of such insect communication may allow plants to signal danger to other extremely close, downwind plants. Professor of Entomology, Richard Karban and other researchers from the University of California showed that a cut sagebrush “told” nearby, downwind wild tobacco plants about its injury, and the tobacco plants apparently responded to protect themselves from damage.” Ms. Arslan claims that plants also talk to mammals.
OK so we know that they talk to other plants which, by the way, is driving Miss Daisy crazy.  We also know that some even have human names like the marijuana plant (Herb).  They can take a leek but can they communicate with humans?  According to Ms. Arslan, in 1848, Dr. Gustav Theodor Fechner, a German professor, suggested that plants are capable of emotions and that one could promote healthy growth with talk, attention, and affection. An Indian scientist, Sir Jagdish Chandra Bose, conducted experiments on plants in 1900. Bose found that plants grew more quickly amidst pleasant music and more slowly amidst loud noise or harsh sounds even if they come from a Bose system.  Clearly the “gangsta” rap music that emanates from passing cars and village fetes in my area is also partly to blame for my bougainvillea’s badness. What I plan to do is cut them down with my trusty machete and while doing so put on Frank Sinatra’s “I Did It My Way” at full volume.
*Tony Deyal was last seen asking, “What did the ganja plant say to the opium plant when they heard the footsteps of the anti-drug squad?”  “Hush Poppy!”

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