A woman’s ‘conservative’ spending list for Christmas

Dec 25, 2012 News

…is a nightmare for men with tight wallets

By Michael Jordan

Ask a woman “a penny for your thoughts” during the festive season, and she is likely to respond “What about $200,000?” Or $300,000, or even $500,000?
That’s what it will cost in foodstuff, a woman’s Old Year’s Night outfit and to re-decorate the house and buy a “proper” gift on Christmas Day.
If your heart is weak, and your pressure high, don’t read this article. It’s the sort of horror story that will traumatize any man with a tight wallet.
However, if you’re of stronger stuff, read on.
I met Daphne, a good friend of mine, in the Vendors’ Arcade a few days before Christmas Day.
Her eyes lit up when I asked her about her Christmas plans, and she began to go through the items on her shopping list. She assured me that she was being conservative.
She started with her Old Year’s Night budget.
The new pair of shoes she had seen in the Arcade cost $6,500. Next, a wig for $6,000, or alternatively, she would visit a hairdresser and that would cost $8,500.
Daphne tells me that she would spend the Old Year’s Night in church. But were she to be going elsewhere, she would need $20,000 for two tickets to attend an Old Year’s Night dance and a further $4,000 for her taxi fare to and from the venue. Daphne insisted that she would only need a further $6,000 for refreshments. Her Old Year’s Night dress was worth $15,000 – someone had already presented her with the dress.
She likes perfumes, so that would be a further $9,000.
Take a deep breath, and another sip of rum, guys, because taking Daphne out for Old Year’s Night would cost at least $79,000.
But Daphne still has to decorate her home.
The new carpet she has her eyes on cost $55,000; new window blinds $31,000; a small Christmas tree $10,000; decorations for the tree and living room $8,000.
That was a further $104,000.
“We ain’t reach the kitchen yet,” she told me.
Her floral arrangements, including a vase, would cost $20,000. The kitchen blinds would cost about $3,000.
Cooking for Christmas Day (three chickens, pepper pot with six pounds of ox-tail, three pounds of beef and four pounds of cow heel) two black cakes and one sponge; sweet potato salad, baked macaroni, ginger beer and mauby
would set Daphne back a further $24, 000.
That would bring her Christmas budget to around $207,000.
And if you think Daphne is an expensive girl, talk to her sister, Cicelene.
She has ordered her Old Year’s night dress, which will cost between $22,000 to $28,000; her shoes, $7,500; going to the hairdresser, $10,500; other ‘accessories’ a further $5,000.
Cicelene said her window blinds would cost around $50,000; mats for the kitchen and bathroom $5,500 and flowers $6,000. Her Christmas meals would cost around $20,000.
Then there’s this other young woman who we will only identify as ‘J’.
She’s taking the saying out with the ‘old’ (meaning last year’s stuff) and in with the new to a higher level.
She’s buying a bed for $102,000, a mattress for $149,000, living room and kitchen curtains for $38,000, a $10,000 table cloth and a $30,000 carpet.
Total for redecorating ‘J’s house for Christmas: $329,000.
Going to the hairdresser, and her Old Year’s Night dress and shoes will cost ‘J’ a further $28,000.
Daphne’s sister, Cicelene, argues that the Christmas splurging should be seen as a reward for all the hard work that women do to make a man’s Christmas special.
“The men don’t do any shopping, cleaning or cooking; they just sit back and enjoy.”
Other women I spoke to reassured me that Daphne’s and Cicelene’s budgets were ‘conservative’.
I was told by ‘J’ that some women would even buy two Old Year’s Night dresses; “one for Church, and another dress to hit the club afterwards.”
And Daphne also explained that she would foot the bill for many of her expenses. She would raise the money by saving in a penny bank from the beginning of the month and also ‘throwing box’ later in the year.
Yet another woman put her Christmas budget at $500,000. She argues that the spending is worth the enjoyment of Christmas.
And come January 2013, many a man will look into his empty wallet and groan.