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A haunting call to Guyana

Sep 19, 2012 Letters

Dear Editor,
I am about to do something that is radical, controversial, and goes against everything that I was taught in my Christian life. However, I must do it. I can’t avoid it. It is like fire in my bones. It will keep burning inside of me until I do it. I feel compelled and constrained. My life, legacy, and happiness depend on it.
What is it? I am going to leave my family and move to Guyana to live and work as a missionary for one year. Why is it controversial? It is controversial because I don’t have the blessing of my family, best friend, and I don’t think I will get the blessing of my pastor.
Why do I believe this is the right thing to do in spite of the opposition? I believe that this is the right thing to do because I felt miserable when I refused to do it.
When Jesus said, “ We must be willing to leave everything to follow Him…” I believe Jesus meant it literally. I believe God is calling me to leave everything and follow Him, and I am willing to obey Him.
Twenty-five years ago, I felt this call to go to Guyana as a missionary. I went to seminary to fulfil that call.
Two years ago, that call came again, after I left the military. A week ago, I felt that call come stronger than before. Is there a crisis?
Today, because of that call, I feel like I am facing a crisis. The crisis is what I want do, goes against what my friends and family wants me to do?
Who should I obey? On the one hand, my family and community wants me to be obedient to them. My friends and family asked, “How can you leave your family unprotected and go to Guyana? What if something happens to them?  God wouldn’t want that.”
On the other hand, I feel that God is calling me to be obedient to Him. When I left the military, God blessed us financially so that I could still provide for my family even though I am not being paid as a missionary.  This is why I believe that God wants me to go, because of the financial blessing I am able to go and still provide for my family while still trusting God to protect them.
About a week ago, I started reading Dietrich Bonhoeffer’s. In his book, he asked two questions that disturb and haunt me. Speaking about the world that we live in, he asked, “What is the crisis and what is my response to the crisis?
When I read these two questions, I immediately thought about the current spiritual, moral, and political crisis in Guyana, and I wanted to go and do something.
During Germany’s spiritual, moral, and political crisis, Bonhoeffer left America for Germany to help the church during the war.
He writes, “I have come to the conclusion that I made a mistake in coming to America. I must live through this difficult period in our national history with the people of Germany. I will have no right to participate in the reconstruction of Christian life in Germany after the war if I do not share the trials of this time with my people . . .
Christians in Germany will have to face the terrible alternative of either willing the defeat of their nation in order that Christian civilization may survive or willing the victory of their nation and thereby destroying civilization. I know which of these alternatives I must choose but I cannot make that choice from security.”
Like Bonhoeffer, I want to help the Guyana’s Church during these crucial times in Guyana’s history. At this time and moment, I have also come to the conclusion to remain in America and not obey God’s call would be a mistake.
I must live through this difficult period in Guyana’s history with the people of Guyana. I will have no right to participate in the reconstruction of Christian life in Guyana after the crisis, if I do not share the trials of this time with my people.
Please pray for me and my family.
Name Withheld
Brooklyn NY

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