Vignettes of repetitive asininities

Jun 21, 2012 Features / Columnists, Freddie Kissoon

My May 25 column was titled, “Send in the Clowns.” In that commentary, I looked at some of the most comical statements by high-ranking PPP Ministers or Parliamentarians that should never, at anytime, anywhere in any country come out of the mouths of high officials.
And to make the cretinism more conspicuous, these asininities were uttered at press conferences which were then transmitted to Guyana and the world.
Just in case you missed that article, I gave examples where a then Cabinet Minister told his press briefing that when he heard talk in Guyana that there was a Minister involved in illegal things he thought he was the person referred to because he is a man that would more do such things.
At a press conference, a PPP MP defended the Government’s policy of not opening up the three public swimming pools to the public by stating that to use a pool you have to take a bath before.
I forgot to mention that when Robert Persaud was acting Prime Minister and Clement Rohee was acting President for four days, they made extensive use of the siren in their official security escort.
The satirical column in the Kaieteur News, “Dem boys seh” poked hilarious fun at Persaud. It claimed that even when he was driving on the backdam roads in agricultural areas, the sirens were blasting off.
Now we had, last week, the most amusing scene from Prime Minister Samuel Hinds. I have written several times on this page on the obvious spectacle Sam Hinds make himself when he can be seen with six security details plus his driver whenever he walks around the city to meet citizens. It simply looks stupid.
One evening, while waiting for my wife to see the doctor at St. Joseph Hospital, he came in with his seven-man entourage. People were just laughing.
Here is what Mr. Hinds did last week. Could it get so hilarious in another country? Mr. Hinds tabled a motion in Parliament to ensure that parliamentarians adhere to the law and submit their completed list of assets to the Integrity Commission. The laughter comes in because there is no Integrity Commission. All it took was a phone call by the PM to ascertain that.
Now it seems logical to me that if PM Hinds can have seven employees (three times I counted it and it was seven; 1- on Saffron Street, 2- jogging on High Street, 3- at the hospital) with him when he walks around Georgetown then he must have a large staff and one of them could have liaison with the secretary of the Commission.
As it turned out, it was the Opposition Leader who contacted the secretary and she informed him by letter that the life of the Commissioned has lapsed.
You can assign a funny analogy to this lapse by Mr. Hinds. You indicate to your wife that you want your kid to dress superbly for the kid’s first day at the neighbourhood school. The wife then says which school; there isn’t a neighbourhood school where we live.
Then there is this media guy who has to be the second source of fun for Guyanese now that “Killaman” has been posted to a foreign country (how that country can accept “Killaman” as a diplomat in their country is another joke).
Of all people this Government chose to head the Advisory Committee on Broadcasting (ACB) is Mr. Evan Persaud.
He recently faced a high level disciplinary committee at the University of Guyana for constantly using sexual vocabularies to students and in his classroom.
None other than the “memory” man, Dr. Luncheon has advised the nation that the government that presided over the dirtiest capital city in the world intends to ban the importation and use of Styrofoam and plastic utensils and bags.
Come to think of it. Is Evan Persaud more a source of amusement than Dr. Roger Luncheon? How this gentleman gets these hilarious words to come out of his mouth has to be a phenomenal scientific act.
Foreigners from another planet who heard Luncheon’s affirmation on the intended ban on plastic and Styrofoam must have thought that Guyana must take environmental hygiene more seriously than the South Koreans without knowledge that Georgetown is the globe’s dirtiest city.
The asininities that characterize this Government are oceanic or mountainous. Bharrat Jagdeo’s second witness in his libel against me, the son of “Taps”, Jason Abdulla told the court that he fell down on his steps, bounced his head and now suffers from memory lapses. He gives testimony again on July 5. Come and see and hear nuff laugh.

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Vignettes of repetitive asininities

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