From the Diaspora…DO MEN PAY ATTENTION TO WOMEN’S AGE OR LOOKS?

Jun 03, 2012 News

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By Ralph Seeram
She came into the store with a melancholy look and all teary eyed, so I inquired what’s wrong. I was thinking maybe she had a death in the family or perhaps one of her children had fallen ill. Then she replied, “Today is my birthday”.
“Your birthday”? I asked. “Then you should be celebrating, why the tears”
She replied “I am getting old” and burst into a fresh round of tears and sobbing.
I was confused for a moment. She was attractive, had a great personality and was only in her early thirties, a single mother of two, and she was a regular customer of the store I then owned. I was wondering why it bothered her so much about getting older.
However for the moment, in an effort to comfort her I told her that no one knows whether she is twenty-four years old or thirty-four years old. Besides, you look like twenty-four anyway”. I gave her a dozen roses and that lifted her spirits; she left in a much better mood than when she came in.
I have met several women who get depressed on their birthdays, worried about getting old, and it got me thinking. Why are they worried? Do they feel men would not be attracted to them because of their age? Do they feel they are losing their attractiveness or does it contribute to their loss of self confidence and esteem?
Most women are twenty-nine years old until they are thirty-nine. Then they are thirty-nine until they are forty nine. I think it is a very good system that the women came up with. We men hardly noticed; we are more focused on one thing.
If one is to be guided by the sales of women’s beauty products one could understand the enormity of this problem with women. Women’s beauty product is a multi-billion-dollar industry. You go to the cosmetic section of the store for men and you will find not more than ten items in a very small section. For men it is just functional stuff–shaving items before and after, deodorant, soap, body cream and cologne. That’s it.
However you will find rows and rows of aisles of cosmetics products for the ladies.
Women are at a disadvantage, because they are judged harshly by men. Recently, criticism was levied against U S Secretary of State, Hilary Clinton, for not wearing makeup. Guess who made the criticism? Of course, men. Recently in Trinidad and Tobago there was some criticism of the Prime Minister, a female, for having a personal assistant to take care of among other things, her make up and appearance.
One lawmaker had to rebuke her critics by pointing out that men have it easy; they just have to wear a shirt and pants. Indeed, the old saying about men needing only the three SSS still stands, a shave a shower and readers can figure out the next S.
Movies are a typical example of the discrimination women faced. Have you ever noticed that male actors can be in their sixties but still have leading actress in their twenties and thirties as their romantic interest, have you ever seen a leading actress in her sixties with a young actor as the male star?
In Hollywood when a woman reaches forty years she is past her peak, when the male actors reach forty he is just maturing. Media also help define women’s beauty, which by large measure is unrealistic. Have you ever noticed the criticism women celebrities face if they put on a few realistic pounds?
Closer to home, I sometimes get annoyed on waiting on female relatives to go out. It would seem  that most  women need at least a two-hour preparation time to get ready for an occasion, make up, hair etc., Problem is, do men really pay attention? I have a relative, who when she travels, one suitcase is all cosmetics. She was a mobile beauty salon.
It comes back to what men want in a women and what women perceive men want. Do men really pay attention to color of women’s lipstick or their eye shadows? I doubt it very much. Are men only attractive to only beautiful and young women? Not really. Now beauty is a very relative thing; it means different things to different people. Regardless of their age or appearances most women do find a partner.
So what about men? When is a man considered old? I will have to rely on a definition given to me over thirty years ago by an old departed friend, the late Barrister Rupert Trim, a ladies man in his own right (as most New Amsterdamers would know).
The last time I spoke to Rupert some years before he died I asked him how the young ladies were going. He retorted, “One just got a child for me”. So what was Rupert definition of an old man? Here it is; wisdom from an expert.
“As long as man can ‘function’ he young,” the day he can’t “function” he old. Recently I was flirting with a young lady half my age. I found myself giving my age, fifteen years less of course. And you thought it was only a women thing. True story.
Ralph Seeram can be reached at email” [email protected]

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