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Abused husband spear heads daughter’s corrective surgery
By Leon Suseran
While society hears often about husbands and men who abuse and beat their wives and
A photo of Lalita Yudharam before she went into surgery
women, men who are subjected to the abuse of women choose to remain silent. Often too, it is the children who suffer the most, and silently too, when their parents are at odds with each other.
An East Bank Berbice man has done the brave thing and has stepped forward to tell the story of a very dysfunctional home and relationship with his common- law wife of eight years.
Seeram Yudharam, 33, a cane harvester attached to the Rose Hall Estate and of Lot 8 Lonsdale Village, East Bank Berbice, has decided to speak out about the daily harassment he has to endure in his home, however, he is more concerned about the daily traumas being experienced by his three children, and more particularly his 14-month-old baby.
He contends that his child is not being cared for properly since the mother is an alcoholic and would wander the streets looking for alcohol, with the child in her possession.
Little Lalita had a cleft pallet until a few months ago when she received much needed surgery in Georgetown. Yudharam related that a good Samaritan, Sayeada Manbodh, who partnered with some corporate entities in Georgetown.
Manbodh met Yudharam and his wife while they were in Georgetown and listened to a painful story about the child; the couple received more assistance than it had bargain for. The parents received $218,000 for the surgery; $16,000 to get zinc sheets to look after their house; $35,000 for transportation back and forth to Georgetown and “she even bought porridge and so for the baby”.
Yudharam then decided to relate to Manbodh what he was going through with the wife and explained how his four-month-old daughter’s life is being endangered. He was then advised to get in contact with this newspaper to tell his story and let the public know how the baby’s life is being endangered due to the careless actions of its alcoholic mother.
The child still needs another surgery on her gums but this cannot be done until 18 months after the first surgery. The man said that the situation in the home is becoming unbearable since his wife is constantly consuming alcohol in the presence of the children and it is driving him insane.
She squanders all of the money that he gives her to cook and to look after the children on alcohol. He also reported that she would carry the 14-month-old baby with her on her drinking sprees in the village.
Most days he does not work, since he has to be at home “to look after the baby because in eighteen months she gotta go back and do
Lalita and her father after the successful cleft pallet surgery
surgery, so me gotta feed she good.” His wife, he said, does not do much housework or cook…”I gotta do work, cook and so…The two other children sometimes don’t even get food and so me gotta buy things for them to eat”.
“Me does give she one, one lash for not looking them children but (the name of the good Samaritan) told me not to hit back she”.
His wife, he also alleged, would make false reports about him at the Sisters’ Police Station that he hit her and put her out of the house. While he admitted that he did hit her on a few occasions, he stated that he did so because he is pushed over the edge regularly by the woman who “when she does do she work, she a cuss up me, so me does lose faith”.
Yudharam was placed on one- year bond by a magistrate last year for hitting the woman. He did state that the magistrate was lenient with him after it was discovered that the woman was constantly using alcohol in and out of the home. The wife, he noted, was supposed to be put on counseling but that never happened.
He added that he is afraid to report the matter to the Sisters’ Police Station since the cops there “have it in for him” due to the false reports that the woman usually makes about him. A few weeks ago, he related he was locked up and forced by the police to sign a paper that stated he would be locked up after another report was made against him by the wife.
“Me frighten to go to the station to report she because they would lock me up and the children would punish.
Yudharam does not believe he is a free man. “I must be a free man to look after me kids them; me ain’t free with she”. Her drinking habits are getting out of hand, he noted since “actually she does stop during a two-week and make one take off again”.
The Human Services Ministry is now involved in seeking to resolve the issue.
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