Men Affairs Bureau makes pact with Wakenaam males to stop brutality

Jul 21, 2011 News

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… Domestic violence outreach

By Rabindra Rooplall
Many fathers, brothers, uncles and sons signed a declaration on Wakenaam Island yesterday to try their best to cease domestic violence under the caption “No more Black and Blue.”
The event was held in collaboration with the Ministry of Human Services and the Men’s Affairs Bureau (MAB) at the Wakenaam play park. The “Skeldon declaration” that was signed is for men in the community to make an open commitment to protect and care for women and children in their homes, family and community.

In attendance were the Minister of Human Service and Social Security Priya Manickchand, Administrator of the Men’s Affairs Bureau (MAB), Pastor Patrick Findley, and pastors from the USA.
Administrator of the Men’s Affairs Bureau (MAB), Pastor Patrick Findley, said in the daily newspapers or the televised news there is always someone being abused or killed in the country.
He said that no place at all seems to be safe. When a child is born there is much fear of the future. “Would he or she enjoy the basic love and affection, and basic rights as a human being? Women and children are now more than ever before are being abused and we have some men being abused as well.”
Adding that it is necessary to educate society especially males, Pastor Finley, said the “no more black and blue campaign and the Skeldon declaration” which is being implemented by the Human Services Ministry is to assist women who have suffered immensely from the hands and feet of men whom they have trusted.
“Those who said I do to the vows of for better or worse until death do us part. Many have seen a transition of a friend becoming an enemy, a lover becoming a hater, the protector becoming a hunter, and the provider becoming the perpetrator,” Finley said.
He said that to curtail the violent epidemic all men have to be involved regardless of, if they were guilty or not, and the idea was to discuss with men the choices and their consequences as it relates to the victims, their children and themselves.
Underscoring that the Men’s Affair Bureau undertook the task of listening to men across the country, Finley said in his encounters, men were exposed with information on how to deal with their frustration and anger, how to deal with conflict, and understanding the emotional needs of men and women.
Finley noted that Minister Manickchand wanted to start from the east and work towards the west, and in so doing an event was held on November 25, 2010 in Berbice and at that event the “Skeldon declaration” was adapted.
Part of the Skeldon declaration reads, “…The declaration is a promise to make every effort to control your behaviour and to help other men to control their behavior so that our women and children can live without abuse and violence.”
Adding that some men have caused all men to be blamed, Pastor Finley said that he feels for the women and children who have to suffer at the hands of some men. “This is an opportunity to change the trends of society and continue to be protectors, providers and partners to our wives and our children. We can be better husbands, fathers and role models in our community.”
Minister of Human Services Priya Manickchand said that Guyana has a problem that it shares with the rest of the world, and that is domestic violence. She said that the problem cannot be solved by addressing only the women; the men have to also be included to solve the scourge of domestic violence.
Manickchand said Men’s Affairs Bureau has not been acknowledge in their work since they have been very quiet, and making it known would attract more men to be involved.
She said that the issue has to be addressed holistically since most of the victims of violence are women, but the plights and needs of men are also not ignored.
Overseas-based Guyanese Dr. Marcus Stapleton who is also a pastor said when a man is abusing his spouse and beating up on her, he is beating up on himself, since it reveals that there is something wrong in his mind that needs adjustment and it shows his weakness in finding solutions to his problems.
Dr. Stapleton said that a woman was created by god to be loved in every manner and is not made to be abused physically, mentally, sexually or emotionally.
Noting that there should be zero tolerance for domestic violence, Stapleton said that many men have children all around the place; these men should be considered “sperm donors” since they are not there to be a role model to their sons’ who in turn would be angry that the father is not present in their lives.
“No one is there to teach him how to be a man, and his mother cannot teach him to be a man since she is not a man. Thus the child grows up with anger and frustration, his self esteem is low and he wants to lash out and to get even.
“This results in him bringing a woman under his subjection physically or sexually which makes him feel that he is a man.” Dr. Stapleton noted.  He said that fathers should do their best to try to raise their children to be better than they are so each generation is advanced than the previous.
“Every woman wants a good man, and a father ought to be teaching his daughter what to look for in a good man. And if the daughter sees abuse in the home she will invariably get hooked up to a guy who will abuse her, since that was the role model that was given to her.” Dr. Stapleton said. “The way a man’s guards and protects his wife depend on how his prayers to god are answered.”
According to a resident of Wakenaam, Cecil Adams, there are many instances of women reversing their testimony in court against their spouse who had been accused of domestic violence.
He explained that this is such since the man is the breadwinner of the home. They are not capable of up keeping the house and children by themselves.
“Long ago when your husband beat you up, or when the woman beat up the man and when you rush to the police station, you are afraid to go back home because you might get into more trouble. And when you know there is a place you can go to be protected from your abusers it is very helpful.” Adams said.

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