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Dem boys seh…Only in Guyana it happens

Apr 22, 2011 Dem Boys Seh, Features / Columnists, News

Only in Guyana certain things happen. A President announce publicly that if anybody cuss he, he gun cuss dem back. Only in Guyana. And he mouth set suh.
Only in Guyana public figures does run to de court to sue after dem do dem wrang things. Ask Ganda.
Dem build a bridge fuh couple hundred million. Three months later dem got to build another bridge at de same spot fuh twice as much because de fuss one bruck down.
Dem build a road and in four weeks it bruck up and de cost of replacing it is three times de original cost. Only in Guyana. Then you build a stelling and it bruck up de same day it go into operation. You spend couple more hundred millions to fix and it bruck agaaaain. You spend moh millions to fix to bruck de same thing and fix again. Only in Guyana.
People warn you bout de contractors you does choose. People tek a man who does sell clothes and tabeej and give he US$15 million and tell he to build a road in de hinterland. Only in Guyana.
Dem boys warn de government but dem go ahead and give de man de contract and even mek he start build de road.  Is only in Guyana people without experience does get multi-million-dollar contract and fail to do de wuk.
But that is not de only thing that does only happen in Guyana. People does call money fuh a project and when de engineer give dem de estimate dem does tell he to call more money like if he playing monopoly.
Million does tun billion like how a certain man tun water into wine. Only in Guyana. A man crash another man old car and replace it wid a new one like nutten. Only in Guyana. And only in Guyana a man can rinse he mouth with Listerine and mek people believe that dem smelling alcohol pun he breath.
De Ministry of Agriculture prepare fuh flood. Only in Guyana one can find a weather machine that tell people it gun rain when de sun gun shine.
De people use that same machine. Dem spend millions of dollars but no flood and people don’t even seh something. Only in Guyana.
Dem bring a White man wid he machine fuh service all dem who does tell lie. De biggest liars in de country refuse to be serviced. Only in Guyana.
De Agri Ministry just announce that 45% of dem contracts deh behind schedule. Is billions of dollars but de Minister Rob-bert sign ten more contracts worth half-a-billion more. Only in Guyana.
Robin Hood does thief from de rich and give to de poor. Only in Guyana dem does thief from de poor and enrich de rich.
But today is Good Friday and dem is Good People … to keep far from.
Talk half. Lef half.

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