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Jesus is watching!

Mar 29, 2011 Features / Columnists, Peeping Tom

A man decided to park his car in a yard, his yard. While he did not live there, he owned the property and therefore had the right to park his vehicle in the space available.
Since he was not living there and therefore could not be around to have a steady eye on the car, he decided to remove the wheels.
Just in case someone decided to steal the car, they would not be able to drive off with it because it had no wheels. Never heard of anyone stealing a car without wheels.
Wrong! It happened. The man turned up at his property one day to find the car missing. The car has mysteriously moved, without wheels at that. This sort of thing can only happen in Guyana and this is why this is such a fascinating country to live in.
Here it is, a man takes all the precautions to prevent his car being moved, there was no reported tsunami or Great Flood to float away his car and yet it disappeared from where he had parked it. It is believed that the car was disassembled and moved physically.
No one saw when his car was removed. This despite the fact that Guyana has a lot of inquisitive persons.
However, it is not only cars that are being moved. A man built a few castles in Republic Park. The man eventually died but the castles remained intact just like the monarchy in Britain.
Suddenly, last week, parts of one of the man’s castle began to disappear. Nobody saw anything.
The castle is now in ruins, almost as if NATO had dropped one of these shells that is now dropping on Libya. A whole castle turned into ruins overnight. No one was minding the store and everyone was minding their own business. Only in Guyana, they say! Only in Guyana!
In another story a lawyer owned a property. Junkies decided that since it was unoccupied, they had a right to use it as a thoroughfare, including to burn insulation off of objects so as to add to their scrap metal collection. In the process, they burned down the lawyers multimillion property. No one actually saw how the fire started. That is Guyana.
There was a time when persons were afraid to rent their property because they did not know whether the tenant would pay the rent and then they would be forced to spend years in Court trying to get the non-paying tenant out of the property.
People decided that it would be best to lock-up their houses and keep them empty rather than rent. There are quite a number of absentee landlords. They had better begin to check on their properties to ensure that they have not been invaded because there is nothing like  an empty house to attract unsavory characters.
This reminds me of a story about a robber who broke into a house he presumed to be empty. As he tiptoed through the living room he heard a loud voice say: “Jesus is watching you!”
Silence returned to the house, so the burglar crept forward again.
“Jesus is watching you,” came the voice again.
The burglar stopped again. He became frightened. Frantically he looked around. In a dark corner, he spotted a bird cage and in the cage he saw a parrot.
He asked the parrot, “Was it you that said, Jesus is watching me?”
“Yes”, said the parrot.
The burglar breathed a sigh of relief, and asked the parrot, “What is your name?”
“Fluff,” said the bird.
“That a dumb name for a parrot,” sneered the burglar. “What idiot named you Fluff.”
The parrot said, “The same idiot that named the pit bull Jesus.”
Then there is the case of a man found dead in another man’s property. The matter is under investigation. It was claimed that the dead man was a thief and was caught in the act and got beaten and succumbed. The dead man’s family cannot explain what he was doing on another man’s property but they are certain. That family is supported by a lot of persons who are vouching that the dead man was no thief.
You could have him in your house all day and he would not take a thing. He did odd jobs but this did not include stealing. But it is still odd that he ended up in another man’s yard.
The family and friends say he was no thief. They say that he does only run through people’s fruit trees.
Now what is this? Is this not stealing? Perhaps there is a difference between raiding a fruit tree and stealing.

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