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Slip, fly and being stood up

Feb 19, 2011 Letters

Dear Editor,
Anyone who reads Stella Ramsaroop’s column will have to admit, judging from her photo, that she is a very attractive woman. In the photo she displays well groomed hair and radiance in her smile; a wide and sweetly mischievous one.
I am sure the boy from Wortmanville will agree.
Now even courageous men, who have the power to destabilise governments and die for what they believe in, can be shy when it comes to being in the presence of a beautiful woman. Nevertheless, a woman of worth dislikes being stood up.
Even if it is just to dine over a cup of coffee. Stella made that clear when she responded to our most popular columnist “slip showing” piece. She made it clear that if her slip was showing, then our poor people governor, fly was down.
They didn’t have coffee together and from what I have gathered, they have never met in a personal capacity. But they each seem to be seeing things. Could it be telepathy? Well, we could use Freud to arrive at that conclusion.
To arrive at why our number one columnist and human rights champion, had a sudden last minute change of heart, we may have to resort to logical deduction. Let us start from the location of Matt’s Record Bar. If one is to believe Stella, the agreement was that our man would have made his way from Matt’s to Oasis. The chicken story appears to be an excuse, a lame one from a methodological mind.
Let us apply logical deduction. A phone call was made from Matt’s to a house at Turkeyen to inform about a coffee break at a cosy place with a lovely and popular fellow columnist who had just arrived fresh off the ice. A question was asked and answered in the negative on whether Adam or Glenn was going to be there too. Then a velvet revolution was set to come off. “Darling, you say you are still at Matt’s, well do some maths and calculate how long it will take you from there to Turkeyen?” Silence from Matt’s end, except for a Johnny Matthias song, playing in the background. “And sweetheart, I am timing you so you better be here soon, or you will be having trench water in the Oasis, Robeson left outside our house!”
A quick call to Benschop for advice. “You want it straight up, bannas, point the Rav 4 in the direction of UG.” That is when Stella got the call about chicken and hot sun. At least if the sun was that hot to spoil frozen chicken in an hour or two.
I am sure it would have kept Stella’s coffee hot. The lady from Turkeyen got sense. Guyanese don’t drink hot coffee in hot sun.
Stella, next time try the orange juice invite, it seems more logical an excuse in the tropics.
Norman Browne

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