Domestic violence is not a myth it’s the naked truth of a woman’s pain and suffering

Jan 21, 2011 Letters

Dear Editor,
Domestic violence is a global issue, it has been with humanity since Biblical days, it is not centered in one country, and one state, one society and that is an important fact the writer of the letter, “Domestic violence is not what it always seems”, published on Wednesday, 19th January, seemed to have missed.
The conception that domestic violence is just women’s rights activism is very untrue for it can be only seen that way from a male’s perspective.
Domestic violence is not a feminist myth or fabrication, it is the raw, naked truth of a woman’s pain and suffering, her fight for recognition as a human being to have the right to live, to love, to be free.
A report according to the writer, published in a democratic, developed country states that 70 per cent of violence is committed by women and 7 out of 10 batters are women. Now that is an outstanding revelation. What kind of violence is the writer talking about and what kind of women – maybe like a Jennifer Lopez in ‘Enough’ who faced off blow for blow with her abusive husband or an Angelina Jolie type in her action flicks or women who are experts with guns, trained in martial arts or street-fighting? How is it that all over the world women are the victims, battered, bruised, raped, murdered?
The murder movies, the detective and Lifetime stories shown depicts the violence perpetuated against women that is played out in real life.                                                                                                               The’ battered wife syndrome’ is not an excuse to hide behind, for women who are provoked to the extreme where they can’t take it anymore, it is a condition a woman suffers from psychologically, for you have to be in it, to see it, to feel it, to wipe the blood that flows, to pick the broken body up from where it had fallen to truly understand the gravity of domestic abuse.
A minority report does not tell the whole story or paint the graphic scenes of millions of women shackled by tradition and culture across the world in places like Asia, The Middle-East and the African Continent, whose hands are tied and whose voices are silent, who suffers untold horrors.
No-one in this lifetime can shake that indomitable strength a woman summons from her inner self in the face of abuse and suffering to stay strong, to survive until the day she dies for I have seen it. Never can I forget the man on a Phagwah’s eve that beat his wife, the mother of his six children, so badly she could hardly walk and the next morning he stood at the street’s corner relating the details to his friends in a proud manner.
They laughed, pat him on the shoulder and went to the bar for a drink.                                                                                                                                                                           What was he celebrating?
Certainly, there are conflicts and confrontations between a man and a woman and a woman is not always right, but compromises, apologies and understanding not every man wants to accept and for many men, violence is the only way, violence is the only language they speak, as man continues to exercise his self-given right of power and control, for maybe in his mind he thinks, “I’m man, I’m everything, you’re woman, you’re nothing, I can only be somebody, if I look at you as no-body.”                                                      It is hard sometimes to understand why men express such harsh, shocking sentiments of a woman, her life, her existence when man and woman have to share a life together in a world designed for them.
It comes not only from the man with unchecked anger, unwarranted hate, deadly aggression, it also comes from men with high intelligence, intellectuals in high offices, men with pleasant personalities and charisma and it is from one, who takes great pride in who he is as a man, was uttered these words, “A woman can do so much for you, love you and make so much sacrifice for home and family and you still feel the great need to kick her.”   How, writer, do you explain that statement?
Maureen Singh

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Domestic violence is not a myth it’s the naked truth of a woman’s pain and suffering

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