The importance of dialogue

Dec 17, 2010 Editorial

“Dialogue means we sit and talk with each other, especially those with whom we may think we have the greatest differences. However, talking together all too often means debating, discussing with a view to convincing the other, arguing for our point of view, examining pros and cons. In dialogue, the intention is not to advocate but to inquire; not to argue but to explore; not to convince but to discover.” — Louise Diamond.
In the coming year, there are potentially momentous changes in the air. For one, General Elections are constitutionally due by August and we, the Guyanese people will be able to exercise our democratic right to freely choose a government to take care of the affairs of our nation, which, in case it has escaped any one of us, is defined as each and every one of us.
We have to be candid and accept that the major impediment to the development of our dear land has been the inability of our people, which include our political elite, to arrive at a social covenant that is seen as fair, just and equitable by the masses of our people. For too long we have not been actually speaking to each other but rather we have been mouthing words at each other. This coming year we have to resolve to do better. We can do no worse than begin to engage in a serious dialogue with each other. The following perspective on “dialogue” is taken from the program on resolving intractable conflicts – don’t you agree that it appears that they are talking about us Guyanese?
“People often lack the ability to converse about subjects that matter deeply to them without getting into a dispute. As a result, public discourse about divisive issues is often characterised by destructive debate that can lead to group division and violence.
This is often because parties are operating from different interpretations of facts and events that may not even be fully understood by the parties themselves. When public conflicts are long lasting and involve seemingly irreconcilable differences of identity, worldviews, and values, parties tend to cling to their own positions and denigrate views of the opposing side. They rarely ask each other questions or genuinely listen to what the other side is saying.
In many cases, while one person is talking, the other person is thinking of what he will say when it is his turn to talk. Effective communication is blocked by competition, prejudice, and fear, and parties’ ways of relating start to deteriorate. They tend to make impassioned statements about the issues and to focus on moral or logical flaws in the other side’s position.
Opponents often rely on rhetoric, and become defensive in the face of evidence that their position is invalid or that an opposed opinion is valid. They also tend to stereotype each other and misunderstand each other’s positions, causing them to become increasingly polarized. As a result, the atmosphere of conversations is often threatening, characterised by personal attacks and interruptions. Even if parties are secretly undecided about any aspect of the issue, they will not voice these reservations. They may fear that if they do not hold on to their positions, they will look weak or be criticized by their compatriots.
These destructive shouting matches do not help to address long-standing conflicts over public issues. Repetitive communication that is based in entrenched positions tends to close people’s minds to new ideas. Parties simply argue more loudly and refuse to be receptive to others’ views. These polarized ways of relating pose significant barriers for collaboration, and make informed and empathic problem solving impossible. Opportunities for social learning are often lost.
In addition, because such conversations are filled with rhetoric and accusations, the public is exposed to a very limited discourse in public debates. This detracts from the involvement and education of citizens. In order to move toward productive collaboration, parties need to find new ways of relating to each other that help them to more fully understand the beliefs, meanings, values, and fears held by both their opponents and themselves. Before they are willing to sit down to negotiate or discuss resolution, parties to deep-rooted, identity – or value-based conflict may be willing to partake in such a conversation.”

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The importance of dialogue

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