BREAKING THE SILENCE

Nov 25, 2010 Features / Columnists, Peeping Tom

Stella came in unannounced. But Dem Boys “peeped her card” and found out that she was in town and staying at the Pegasus.
We welcome her to Guyana (once again) and wish her all success as she joins in the fight against domestic abuse.
She is doing a great job and we hope that she gets all the support that she needs to make a difference. Too many of our women are being killed, injured and disposed as a result of domestic violence. This is not to say that men are not also victims of abuse.
A great deal of men also suffer abuse. There are some men who as soon as they enter their homes, before they can even take off their shoes, are subject to a tongue lashing. But in as much as men also suffer, it is also an undeniable fact that more women are at a risk of domestic abuse that men and therefore deserve greater attention in the fight to end domestic violence.
Stella will no doubt bring her own insights to this problem but we hope that she will also take time to familiarize herself with some of the problems that women face in removing themselves voluntarily from abusive situation in Guyana. It is not always very easy for a woman in Guyana to get up and leave and therefore these things must be considered in developing responses that would assist our women in taking a stand against domestic violence.
Many women find themselves in a situation whereby they depend on their male partners for financial survival. Many of them have nowhere to go should they leave their abusive relations. They know that if they leave they will not have that financial security and therefore many prefer to stay in abusive situations because of the lack of support.
Some women cannot even turn to their parents or family for support. There are cases where women are ostracized by their families for having entered into a relationship, which subsequently turned abusive.
Some of the families are displeased because after they would have given support, they find instances where the abused partner “made-up” with the abuser. As such, many extended families are reluctant to get involved and sadly this has led to tragic consequences.
Other victims of abuse are afraid to leave out of the shame that they feel that they will be exposed to. Some of the victims feel that they will be laughed at and gossiped at when people hear that they are a victim of abuse. This is a problem that needs addressing since they are persons within our society who find pleasure in the misfortune of others and make it worse for these victims.
All is not negative in the fight against domestic violence. The fact that this issue is not on the front- burner of the national agenda is itself a tremendous achievement because twenty years ago, no one could have predicted that it would have been necessary to pass laws and initiate campaigns to address the problem of domestic abuse.
That we have now reached the stage whereby citizens are now taking action to stem the wave of abuses, says that the silence is being broken and people are concerned about what is taking place.
It may not be possible to totally eradicate domestic violence but it is possible to reduce its numbers significantly and work towards a situation whereby you do not have to dread picking up the newspapers each morning because of the trepidation of reading about some female being killed.
Domestic violence must also not just be seen as women’s issue. It is a national issue and it is good to see the civil society, with a little help from Stella and friends, are taking a position and prepared to do something about this problem.
More and more persons need to get involved so as to signal public repugnance of domestic violence which afflicts both men and women.
All Guyanese who support the end to domestic violence should join with Stella and her team as they Break the Silence and say no to domestic violence.
While the weather will allow for the sort of turnout that Stella and the other anticipate is not certain but the turnout need not discourage those who are keen on making a difference. Even if fifty persons turn out, then it shows that there is a critical mass enough to begin to turn the tide against domestic violence.
Big things start with small beginnings and today’s event could mark the beginning of something great. So Break the Silence Today against Domestic Violence and perhaps tomorrow we can break the silence on other issues.

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