The scourge of domestic abuse

Oct 28, 2010 Editorial

Last week, another woman succumbed to domestic violence. Her abusers did not take her life but certainly, by their actions, they drove the woman to suicide. The woman, a retired head teacher, took a dose of poison. She was 61.
This death tells many stories. In the first instance the woman was intelligent enough to cope with most issues. She would have been rational because as a teacher, life would have thrown many curve balls in her direction. There would have been the irate parents who would have descended on the school to protest some punishment meted out to their children.
This woman, during her tenure as a teacher, would have had to cope with these people and to deal with the situation in such a manner that the parents would have left satisfied.
Investigations revealed that this woman was abused beyond imagination. Her husband, who held a prominent job in the society with the Guyana Elections Commission, was described as a habitual drinker. The records would show that most abusers are either heavy drinkers or are alcoholics. Theirs is the lot similar to the very people who kill themselves.
People in the vicinity of the suicide victim then said that the woman’s son also abused her. Not much should be said here except that in days not so long past, children honoured their parents. Those who did otherwise were said to have come from the gutter.
Life is something that the average person would hold on to because it is often described as a one-way street with no return; that no one wants to die because of the uncertainty that such a state brings. People do not relinquish their hold on life easily. Therefore, when a person takes his own life the message is that nothing could be worse than whatever drove the person to the act.
The experts say that people who commit suicide suffered from a mental ailment. This woman was a former head teacher. If she was abused during her active years then she must have had coping mechanisms that allowed her to overcome whatever obstacles were thrown her way.
The frightening thing is that this woman is not the only victim in the country and certainly she will not be the last. In her case, given the social position she once held in the community, she would have accepted the abuse for fear of criticisms within the community. Further, as a young woman, she would have married for better or for worse. That was something parents instilled in their daughters.
The community was aware of the abuse and one could conclude that most of them kept their distance because, again, of the perceived social difference, they the average members of the society assuming that they were below the woman’s station in life. Others simply minded their own business even as they grieved for the victim.
The Ministry of Health is now moving to curtail the incidence of suicide but this is going to be an uphill task especially when the families of the victim are reluctant to cooperate with the authorities.
In this case, the woman’s son was quick to point to the prominent position his father held in the society. If he could have, he would have wished away the suicide and attribute the death to some other cause.
Most people these days are at a loss to understand why women remain in abusive situations without appreciating the absence of support systems. For example, some households would ease the victim back into the relationship because they are not prepared to accept the added financial responsibility.
It is heartening these days to learn that the courts give abusers a lengthy time in jail. It is also pleasing that the police are no longer contending that beating in the family is a private business.
This change in action could save a few lives. There will continue to be the abusive few but they are now doing so knowing that they cannot abuse a spouse with impunity.

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