The measure of a man or woman was his or her word

Sep 07, 2010 Letters

---

Dear Editor,
On plantations, rice-fields, farms, markets, villages, churches, temples and mosques, one thing decided the measure of a man or woman in old Guyana. This was that a real man was a good as his spoken word, no written contract was needed.
All that was needed was a promise that his word was given. Violation of one’s word or spoken obligation would bring dishonour, loss of face and disrespect by the community.
This standard code of behaviour ran across our society irrespective if members were Christians, Muslims, Hindus, non-believers or children of ex-slaves, indentured servants, immigrants and indigenous persons.
What was even more sacred was a promise made in a church, mosque, or temple, whether these were permanent or temporary structures. In the case of Hindus many religious services were performed in structures constructed in the homes of the individuals sponsoring the sacred events.
From respected Brahmin Hindu scholars and priests during my childhood, I learned something about the traditions, symbolisms, meanings and beauty of our Indian religious and cultural heritage.
Hindu religious wedding ceremony in one of those outdoor services comes to mind. Four bamboo poles are set up to form a small square structure, with a fifth bamboo pole in the centre. This shaded structure is where the actual religious rites are performed.
The four corner poles represent the ‘elements’ air, earth, fire and water, whereas the central pole represents the fifth element ‘ether’ or ‘spirit.’ The fifth element is linked to the other four and shows their inter-relationships and connectedness. This defined area is a Mandala.
The respective Gods and/or Deities associated with the elements are invited to be present at the ceremonies.
Under this leaf-covered tent-area (serving as inner sanctum or shrine room, garbha ghra, or literally ‘womb house’) is a sacred fire-altar, from the lit fires of which the God of Fire, Agni, takes the requests to trimurti God Shiva, Krishna, or Vishnu. (All are representations or manifestations of the same God.)
In a marriage ceremony under these temple conditions, the couple walks around a fire with garments tied to signify a couple’s intent to walk this journey in life together. Any promise made here is sacred and binding, and it is done before the Gods, Deities and people. The message is sent to the Hindu Trimurti God via Agni. Any promise made here is a sacred oath as made in any Christian Church or Cathedral.
The bridegroom puts sindoor on the head of his bride, publicly saying this is my bride. The Hindu priests bless the couple.
Such beautiful moments bring tears to the eyes of families and friends.
There are many rich symbolisms in most of the articles used and rituals done in such a Hindu wedding ceremony. (Space does not permit a discussion of these here, but you know this already.) The guests who attend the ceremony are witnesses to the marriage of this couple. The invitations long proclaim a couple’s marriage contractual intents.
It is the most beautiful wedding ceremony that I know and have seen. Mahatma Gandhi also explained this ceremony to his American guest. (See the Film, Gandhi)
My Priest-mentors were offended that Indian/Hindu weddings were not recognised by the state; and neither was Hindu priests recognised as licensed marriage officers.
They felt offended that their ancient wedding rituals were not given the same status as those held in Christian Churches. A couple who married under Hindu rites and customs had to subsequently go before a state-approved marriage officer to have their marriage solemnized! Many Hindus refused to do this. They found this insulting to their religion and traditions.
This state non-recognition of their marriages technically made a lot of Indian Guyanese products of illegitimate unions. Years later into their marriages, parents had their marital unions solemnized to avoid legal complications after their deaths. (The same state of affairs existed with our Muslim brothers and sisters.)
Later, Hindu priests were recognised as licensed marriage officers to oversee a marriage under Hindu Rites and Customs.
It would irk my Hindu religious mentors for anyone to deny the sacredness and validity of any vows made before Hindu Deities and Gods and performed by a priest and publicly witnessed by others.
I was told that such wedding traditions were thousands of years old. Would some knowledgeable person(s) please let me know when these honoured traditions and their religious, social and contractual obligations have changed.
With the best of intentions and efforts, marriages fail. This is a fact of life. What goes on in the life of a couple is their business. But for any ‘Indian’ to deny the legitimacy of his vows performed according to Hindu rites and customs is untenable.
President B. Jagdeo is entitled to do whatever he wants in his personal life, but please do not deny the legitimacy and validity of these ancient Hindu Rites and traditions. In the old days this would be the only way to do a marriage and one’s promise under ‘the bamboo’ was sacred and guaranteed as any written signature.
Men and women fought long and hard for such recognition of their Indian/Hindu traditions.
This disrespect President Jagdeo brought upon us is shocking. How can ‘Indian’ Guyanese women put garlands around President’s Jagdeo neck, when he disrespects our traditions? How can he claim the mantle of leadership of ‘Indian’ Guyanese, when he makes our traditions of no value in the eyes of the nation and the world? Never heard of any Indian (including Diaspora) doing this. Mother India would be shocked. The Indian/Hindu community should be appalled by this contemptuous act.
Respect not given means continued disrespect for all of us, including his supposed own ‘Indian’ Guyanese people. How can one take the word of a person who does not value a promise made before God and man in sacred settings?
When the words of a man mean nothing, the man is nothing, and he will achieve nothing. Like other tormentors before, his name will become nothing. Even the Gods do die and pass into nothing.
We too have nothing and as a nation have achieved nothing because we allow nothing to control and divide us. Our differences are nothing. We fight over nothing. We die for nothing.
But nothing too has its end and we must stand for something then we will achieve something and become something.
Where have all our men and women with their pride, dignity, and words of honour in the old Guyana gone? Some have died, some are old, and some have left. But many are there right among us, they are us.
We must become like our fore-fathers with a sense of pride, decency and value our words. Keeping our words should be the standard by which we measure a man or woman again.
We must judge the men and women who lead us by their decency and the value of their words, and like our forbearers disregard those who words are meaningless. We must each become something to respect again.
Seelochan Beharry

---

---