Homosexuality, man-kissing and logical deduction

Aug 12, 2010 Features / Columnists, Freddie Kissoon

One of Guyana’s most talented young lawyers that I predict will be a formidable name at the bar asked me last week if I think a certain person he named is a homosexual. My first reaction is that I couldn’t be bothered with who and who is homosexual.
The world has changed 180 degrees from the time the great writer Oscar Wilde was imprisoned for homosexual behaviour and subsequently was ostracized by society. I do not hold and will not hold anything condemnatory of homosexuality. In the same vein, I will not rush to condemn prostitution.
On answering the question, I used a hypothetical example of a scrap metal seller and then I made mention of logical deduction. If for four consecutive times, the alarm went off and the thieves ran away from a scrap metal bond and two blocks away, neatly parked on all those occasions, was the truck of a dealer, then what are we to make of it? You cannot convince the police that the truck-owner is not involved.
Scientific facts and logical deduction are two distinct phenomena. There are no facts to tie him to four attempts to steel old metal but logical deduction drives you to believe he is a conspirator. Try as hard as you can, the police would have made up their minds, and the magistrates too.
I used the method of logical deduction to answer the attorney’s curiosity on homosexuality. Why would any heterosexual man surround himself with homosexual personnel and if he is the head of a huge business firm, appoint an inordinate amount of homosexuals to important posts? Of course, a probing mind can say that this does not prove the case of the particular sexual preference. But logical deduction will do it. What happens when the guy gets on in age, but is not married and has no children?
Very, very few members of the Homo sapiens species do not want children. It is an essential instinct of human civilization. Human beings love children. Who doesn’t?
Paul McCarthy fathered a kid at sixty. John Travolta is not too far behind him. Those who can’t produce offspring quickly move to adopt. In all fields of endeavour – sports, entertainment, politics, business, the socialite world – when men and women are single, there is evidence of them dating or courting.
When eminent people divorce, as the years go, their names come to be associated with those they are sharing intimacy with. In the case of the person under discussion, his name is never linked to a female. I told the attorney, if he is interested in knowing if the person is a homosexual, he should try the social science methodology of logical deduction.
I have been called a man-kisser. Logical deduction can prove if I am. I do not club, party and go out late. I have not one personal friend who is a homosexual (as I wrote above; I have nothing personal or political or social against homosexuals, so don’t get me wrong here). All my close political and non-political friends are happy married men and in some cases may be womanizers. I do not have a female friend who is a lesbian.
The point is; in my world, I do not have contacts with homosexuals. I have been married for thirty-two years to the same woman. I am seen all over with her. I fathered a 21-year-old daughter.
If I am a man-kisser, then I am assuming that there is a friend of mine that is a homosexual and the connection is then made. It means that I have a relation with this individual thus the insistence of any person who refers to me as a man-kisser. If that is so I don’t know who that closet gay is.
When you come to think of it, those frequently calling me a man-kisser may not be wrong, but it is clear that they are assuming that I know who the gay guy is. It is quite likely that one or more of them are in a relationship with the closet gay, and by virtue of the fact that the gay is supposedly a friend of mine, they think something is going on between us.
In other words, they kiss the man, and since they have convinced themselves that I also know the man, they think I kiss him too. Well, I swear on my parent’s grave and on all the members of my family that I love that I have never kissed a man. I will check to see which one of my friends is kissing those who like to call me a man-kisser.

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