BELL, BOOK AND SCANDAL

May 24, 2010 Features / Columnists, Tony Deyal column

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“Bell, Book and Candle” is an old movie which stars Jack Lemmon, James Stewart and Kim Novak and is about black magic by white people, witches, spells, warlocks and wizardry.  The name “Bell, Book and Candle” is from the Catholic ex-communication ceremony which dates back to the 9th Century A.D.  Encyclopedia Britannica explains that “the bell represents the public nature” of the ceremony; the book signifies the authority of the words spoken by the presiding Bishop; and the candle symbolized the possibility that the ban could be lifted.
However, for many, the candle symbolized that what was in darkness was brought into the light.
As it heads into Monday’s election, Trinidad and Tobago has come up with its own variation on the theme.  The phrase, “Bell, Book and Candle” has now become “Bell, Book and Scandal”.
First, the bell.  There is a story that when Quasimodo left for Hollywood to star in Disney’s “Hunchback of Notre Dame”, a young man presented himself to the Bishop of Notre Dame Cathedral claiming he was Quasimodo’s brother and a bell-ringer in his own right.  He begged for a chance to demonstrate his prowess.
When the Bishop agreed, the young man went to the far end of the parapet and ran at top speed towards the bell, hitting it with his face.  The young man staggered and then repeated the act.  Completely disoriented, he tried a third time and after hitting the bell was so groggy he fell off the top of the cathedral and splattered on the street.
By the time the Bishop reached the pavement, a policeman had already arrived on the scene.  He asked the Bishop, “Sir, do you know this man?”  The Bishop answered, “No, but his face rings a bell.”
Some days later, another young man appeared.  He, too, claimed to be a bell ringer and when given the opportunity went through the same routine, striking the bell furiously with his face. Eventually, he, too, fell to his doom.
Again the Bishop rushed down to the street and once more met a Gendarme who asked, “Sir, do you know this person?”  “No,” replied the Bishop, “but he is a dead ringer for his brother.”
The question that many Trinis are asking is that having rung the election bell almost three years before time, is Patrick Manning, Prime Minister and Leader of the ruling People’s National Movement (PNM) a dead ringer?  Worse, given that he lost a previous election by calling it before it was constitutionally due, is Manning a re-bell without a cause?
Some people who describe his behaviour as “Goofy”, believe that Manning is having a permanent Disney spell.
The book business is something else.  Even though it was the 2010 Election Manifesto of the PNM, the Leader of the Opposition, Kamla Persad-Bissessar, a lawyer, tore it up in public.  Her political opponents described her action as vandalism.  Her supporters, including a former Judge who became a candidate immediately after resigning from the Judiciary, justify her behaviour on the basis that Dr. Eric Williams founder and first Political Leader of the PNM had publicly torn up a copy of the Trinidad Guardian newspaper.
I am a book person.  I love books.  I believe strongly that the road to knowledge begins with the turn of the page.  Electronic books may “kindle” my interest, but as Thomas Jefferson said, “I cannot live without books.”  Salman Rushdie could have spoken for me when he wrote, “I grew up kissing books and bread.”
Regardless of what is in the PNM Manifesto, whether lies, damn lies and statistics or (as claimed by some just lies and damn lies without the statistics), I cannot support tearing or burning books.  I don’t care if it is the political silly season in Trinidad as it was the political silly season in Nazi Germany, tearing up books is wrong.  I hope those who destroy books as well as those who destroy lives or steal from the public purse will all be brought to book.
Which brings us to Scandal. It is something for which Trinidad is justly famous.  As one of my Antiguan colleagues who studied in Trinidad said, “Boy, they always have something happening in that place.  Is fun.”
Among the happenings in Trini-land that have become election fodder, ammunition and nine-day wonders are accusations of misuse of public funds by a “state enterprise” or government-owned and operated company to build a church for an organization which is run by the Prime Minister’s spiritual advisor or “prophetess”.
Documents presented to the media by the Opposition Leader, Kamla Persad-Bissessar, have been interpreted as indicating that the Prime Minister was involved.  However, Mr. Manning has said that even if the documents were valid, the abbreviation “PM” could well stand for “Project Manager” and not “Prime Minister”.
Also, a Commission of Enquiry, grudgingly convened by the Government, eventually found grounds for investigation and possible legal action against someone who was so close to the Prime Minister that he was the Chairman of five State Enterprises.  This enterprising individual, as well as the Prime Minister’s spiritual advisor,is not presently available for comment.
Incredibly, a former Minister of Government, thrown out of the Cabinet for what was then described as “wajang” (rude, uncouth) behaviour is contesting one of the seats for the PNM. A newspaper headline a few days ago gave the impression that he was advising supporters to “Vote PNM and not PM.” The abbreviation “PM” in this context, if not standing for Prime Minister, might just mean “Post Meridian” or after midday when, it is expected, the sun will set on the PM and possibly the PNM.
In the transition from “Bell, Book and Candle” the movie, to “Bell, Book and Scandal”, the Trinidad Election, there is one thing in common.  The theme song for the movie, and I believe for the PM, is “Stormy Weather”.
*  Tony Deyal was last seen saying that many people have been referring to one of the protagonists as a “dumb-bell” which is another term for a political heavy weight.

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