Guyana gone to the goats

Feb 16, 2010 Features / Columnists, Freddie Kissoon

Guyana went to the dogs a long time ago. All Guyanese know this. Then Guyana went to the cows. These animals have killed many drivers and injured a larger number. But they still roam the streets.
No other person gets a better view of how these unusual “traffic cops” control the Railway Embankment than this writer. I look down on the highway from my window every morning as I get up. I see vividly in front of me how Guyana has gone to the cows.
Guyana has now gone to the goats. On Friday last, a very important regional cricket match was in progress at Albion between Barbados and Guyana and it appeared that Guyana was using thirteen players instead of the mandatory eleven. In the 1960s when you heard West Indian fans complaining that Australia played 13 men, it was a cynical reference to the two umpires being biased.
On Saturday, Caribbean people got the shock of their lives when a Kaieteur News photograph showed extra fielders from our team – 2 goats. Yes, two goats were on the field while play was in progress! What is worse yet is that they were behind the bowler’s arm, thereby blocking the lower area of the sight screen and distracting the batsman.
In cricket, close up fielders and the wicket-keeper would don helmets based on how the pitch is playing. The helmet(s) are stored behind the wicket-keeper when not in use. But if the ball should hit the helmet, the fielding side is penalized with automatic runs (4) being assigned to the batting side.
There would have been immense confusion if the ball had hit those goats. The statutes governing cricket do not cater for animals in the arena of play. It meant then that had the ball been blasted down the pitch and struck the goats controversy had to be the inevitable result. How much runs were to be awarded if any?
My own take on this atrocity is that the West Indies Cricket Board should penalize the Guyana Cricket Board with a huge fine for this nasty embarrassment. A regional cricket match is the highest level of cricket outside of international fixtures played in the West Indies. In these regional competitions, stars are born.
How can you have a cricket ground that hosts important games and goats are eating grass behind the bowler’s back on the ground? It must be mentioned that Albion ground is financed by GuySuCo, so by extension, the Guyana Government.
Herein lies the reason why people all over the world laugh at us. They come to our country and they see starving animals in the zoo. They see bloated dead animals waiting to burst all over our streets.
They see a botanical garden that looks like a camp where soldiers are conducting a military exercise. They see a national park that looks like a jungle. They see traffic lights that are permanently blinking. They see sewage overflowing on the streets and pavements where they have to walk. They see a country where blackouts occur more often than when a territory is ravaged by war.
As we are on the subject of blackouts; in Sunday’s edition of this newspaper, there is a schedule of electricity disruption for Berbice and Demerara.
This writer twice wrote that the Wartsila engines were second hand stuff bought from Suriname and were intended to prevent blackouts for Christmas. I said in my column at that time that as soon as the Christmas season was over, the darkness would return with a vengeance.
It has. In another article I wrote that the excuse would be line maintenance. The Government cannot say that the disruptions are due to generation shortfall. In that essay I asked how often do you have to maintain these lines?
So we had three new engines installed in early December then all of a sudden from February 14 onwards there will be eight hours of blackout. I laugh at the little dictators that run this country when they criticize me when I pen these columns. I know I can return to these articles and prove them wrong and embarrass them.
I can quote from previous pieces on this page to prove that I predicted that GPL will return to electricity withdrawal after the holiday season is over. On this very page, I wrote that the traffic lights would die a natural death. At the terrible junctions of Louisa Row and Brickdam and Albert and Lamaha Streets, the signals died a long time ago. Mark my word – they will try to rig the national elections. Have I ever been wrong in my criticism of elected dictatorship in Guyana?

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