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Freeness can kill

Feb 05, 2010 Dem Boys Seh, Features / Columnists

If it cheap tek a step back because all cheapness ain’t good. If it free then be very careful because old people seh that nutten in life is free.
Well dem had this gyal, Dionne, who perhaps never listen to old people because she decide that de liquor was free. Now she ain’t alone. Dem boys been to places wheh people behave like if de freeness mean that dem had to kill demselves.
Some people does go to birth night parties and try to drink everything like if is de last time dem gun drink. Nuff of dem does end up paying de consequences.
In fact, that is wha happen to this gyal named Dionne.
Was she birthday and de boss man fuh de Waterfalls paper give she a treat. De poor child mix crème liqueur wid vodka and tequila; beer wid Guinness and all kind of things. Was a case that she decide to drink everything because it just deh.
De next thing, dem boys see de woman pun de ground and she eyes rolling up in she head, de vomit coming out she mouth like a water fountain break. Then she start fuh groan bout how she don’t think she gun mek it.
Well she survive and is like if nutten ain’t happen except that she watching liquor and cutting she eye.
Dem boys spiteful though. Dem deliberately sipping drink in front de poor child because dem want to tease she.
Another time, a man did see free food. He had de runnings till he eye end up at de back of he head. He get a dose that mek he belly rumble like it nevah rumble before. De fuss time he barely mek de toilet; de next time he fell short, and by a long margin.
Then dem have de other one who couldn’t understand that he was eating food mix wid Epsom salts. Is a good thing he had the constitution of a horse and a cast iron belly.
He lose weight, plenty weight; he foot get weak, he get giddy but like Dionne, he survive.
He too start cutting he eye pun food but as dem boys seh, old habits die hard. He is a prime candidate fuh another dose.
Talk half. Lef half.

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