The funnier side of 2009

Jan 09, 2010 Features / Columnists, Freddie Kissoon

Politics is a caricatured process in this country that leaves the society without surprises. Guyanese are accustomed to the comical, hypocritical and unusual utterances and behaviour of those who occupy positions of influence, status and authority.
Perhaps the lightest yet irritating moment of 2009 was a letter that appeared in both independent dailies last month from a failed politician urging Guyanese to look at themselves in the mirror and face up to their own faults. This failed politician’s canvas took in all and sundry – minibus drivers; the private media; employees who short-change their employers; unemployed Guyanese who wait for hand-outs from abroad; opposition parties who cannot get their act together.
This gentleman’s brush even took in people who urinate in public. He concluded his look-in–the-mirror appeal by wishing President Jagdeo a productive year of his remaining tenure. This failed politician who lashed out at the entire society rested his advocacy on a plea for a good, remaining year for Mr Jagdeo as if Mr. Jagdeo was and is above the fray he described.
More importantly, this so-called politician failed to look at himself in the mirror – an egregious example of do what I say and don’t bother with what I do even though what I do should discourage you from listening to what I say.
This politician (who is known for his red eyes) forgot to lecture to himself. One Saturday morning, I got several telephone messages from friends to tune into a certain television station. This look-in-the-mirror guy was on a call-in programme in which his disagreement with his callers would take the form of labeling them as dogs, rats, scamps, and thieves. I turned on my set and of course was not surprised at Mr. Red Eyes’s extremism.
One caller was deemed a rat for criticizing Dr. Cheddi Jagan. Another was referred to as a dog for suggesting that Dr. Jagan was not without his faults. The one I liked was when a voice described the mistakes Dr. Jagan made in his career only to be interrupted with yells of; “I know who you are; I gun get yuh man. I know you, you is a damn jackass.”
This is the way this man behaved on a television programme which I saw with my own eyes yet he tells the Guyanese people to stare into the looking-glass and confront their faults.
This gentleman, who is making a pitch to President Jagdeo, forgot to mention in his advocacy that he was castigated by the Guyana Press Association for his behaviour at an important function with all the media present when he yelled out as to who and who in the media he will slap, and went on television, months later to repeat his threats. Yes, 2009 had its comical manifestations that we found hilarious.
You can describe 2009 as the year of Henry Jeffrey’s letters. Since being pushed out of the Government on October, former Minister Henry Jeffrey has been writing at least a letter a week.
The correspondences are about everything including Christmas shopping but never on politics inside the secret walls of New Garden Street where he was ensconced for the past seventeen years as a senior (not junior, mind you) Minister. Reminds me of one of Harry Belafonte famous songs, “There’s a hole in the bucket.”
In the song, Henry tells Liza that there is a hole in the bucket. Liza informs Henry that he should fix it. Henry asks with what? Liza says with a straw. Henry tells her the straw is too long. Liza urges him to cut it. Henry asked with what? Liza told him with an axe.
There is a hole in Henry’s writings and he doesn’t need Liza to point that out to him or to tell him with what to fix it.
Finally, 007, David ‘James Bond’ Dabydeen at Warwick University. The Stabroek News got hold of information that David nominated President Jagdeo for the 2010 Nobel Peace Prize. From there on, a secret service game has been playing out. David went into hiding. Then emerged to say it wasn’t him. But the game went on and David looked like 007. He told the media that a certain Trinidadian made the nomination. But how did David know that?
Then this writer learnt that David did do the nomination and saw some proof. The Nobel Committee is so tightly bureaucratized that it will not release the names of those who send in the papers so David is on safe terrain. President Jagdeo who had to accept the recommendation of his name has continued the secret service game by refusing to disclose his nominator. Yes, 2009 was a funny year.

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The funnier side of 2009

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