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Holiday gaff

Dec 27, 2009 Editorial

During these three days of holidays, we have been in and out of each other’s homes, enjoying the holiday cheer in one way or the other. But for certain, since we are Guyanese, we have been “gaffing”.
There is no Guyanese pastime that we engage in with such verve and dedication as the good old-fashioned gaff. While the word originally may have meant “severe criticism” or raillery, our gaff is punctuated with such good humour, that it would be difficult for all but the most thin-skinned not to crack a smile in the end. The Trini may have his “ole talk” but we would take our gaff any day.
There aren’t many topics that are out of bounds in a good gaff: religion and mothers about exhaust the list. Motherhood is sacred and anyone crass enough (not to mention louche) to mention someone else’s mother better be prepared to get ready to rumble.
But while nominally sacrosanct, religion invariably creeps into gaffs – but almost never in comparison to other religions. This custom has been an amazing innovation in our landscape, characterised as it is by such a multiplicity of faiths and beliefs. We should be proud of it: at the very minimum, it has worked to pre-empt religious clashes – major or otherwise – among our folks.
Across the globe, it is very unfortunate that disagreements between groups adhering to different religious faiths are now the major source of armed conflicts. Maybe we could export some of our most proficient gaffers to help them talk their way out their troubles: spreading the goodwill, and all that.
Among men, perhaps not surprisingly, sports remain the most popular item on any gaff agenda. With all the vicissitudes that has confronted our cricket – the subject of some very passionate gaffs – this is still our most popular subject. The respectable performance by the senior West Indian team in the last two games in Australia has certainly enlivened the mood at our holiday gatherings.
Hope springs eternal, it is said, and it certainly does in the Guyanese cricket fan. The fact that we now had four Guyanese in the latest squad raised the local spirits probably as much as the stuff that is served from a glass (or even, evidently, from the bottle, nowadays) which, of course, brings us to environment for the holiday gaff.
The food itself, which is in such heady abundance at this time of the year, is conducive to good conversation. But a good conversation is not a good gaff, is it? For a good gaff, the spirits have to be flowing in Guyana.
And flow they do. It is claimed that Russians consume the most alcohol on a per capita basis in the world but we do suspect that (possibly on account of our small size – but this may change after Copenhagen) we have not been surveyed. To assert that Guyanese can gaff – and we all know we are world class – is to acknowledge that we can drink.
Music also seems to get the tongues wagging in a good gaff and it goes without saying that music (loud music, that is) is mandatory in our holiday gaff sessions. Call them “get togethers” if you wish. It could be that one of the reasons that our gaffs remain so good natured and non-confrontational may be due to the fact that as the topics get hotter the music becomes even louder: the verbal jousters by then can probably only pick up one out of every three words.
We all just nod at each other by then with silly grins on our faces, filling in the gaps in the sentences with congratulatory words of our choice.
One interesting development in the music field that is crying out for explanation by some pop-culture critic is the explosion of alcohol-centered lyrics (one is using the term very loosely here) in the Chutney music stream. The genre is so pervasive, it seems to have received cross-over status – what does this say about us?
Be as it may, let’s all have a good, ole Guyanese gaff today. For tomorrow, work beckons.

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