Freedom! Six Christmases behind bars - A reformed prisoner’s story

Freedom! Six Christmases behind bars – A reformed prisoner’s story

Dec 25, 2009 News

There is no greater feeling of freedom than that of the prison stench being lifted from one’s shoulders especially at Christmas time. Such is the conviction of a reformed Mike (not his real name), after six years of imprisonment.

As he contemplates his future after the six Christmases behind bars he said, “The years have changed my life morals and goals and this Christmas will be the first for me as a reformed being”.

Having experienced mixed fortunes as a free youth, he described his first Christmas behind bar as the most horrific.

“Can you imagine what it is like to wake up Christmas morning to see a bunch of strange men around you as opposed to your family?” he asked. What made it worse for him was that for the first time in his life he had to take a bath naked in the shower in the company of other inmates on Christmas Day.

Reflecting with a smile he said, “No one tried any stunts but I was so terrified at the thought of what could have possibly happened based on the many prison stories I had heard.”

For the first time in his life the joys of Christmas was furthest from his mind and he was living a nightmare that he could not awake from.

Christmas Day to him was one surrounded by inmates who tried desperately to portray a macho image in conversation as if they did not miss their homes and families. But even this ‘new kid to the slammer’ knew it was mostly a front to the later scenes as many were seen with eyes welling up quietly, sitting in corners.

His first Christmas behind prison walls was also filled with emotional turmoil, so much so that some became openly edgy and violent or became totally withdrawn.

“Amidst my terrifying thoughts I remember seeing sad faces and some people’s eyes were welled up as they fought back tears.”

As his journey into the years continued, he gradually adapted like an animal to its strange habitat and with unsettling eyes he said, “Prison ain’t no bed of roses, but there were times I had to become territorial and aggressive as each Christmas passed and frustrations grew with each year.”

However, while he does not see himself as becoming a hardened criminal, he said for some inmates, with each passing year, the sensitivity and emotions begin to die while some may become more reclusive.

Many are convinced that everyone in prison deserves to be there as a form of punishment.

But the former inmate said, “Not everyone is guilty in the jail but they too have to face the same sufferings as the hardened criminals”.

The other Christmases came and went by into the New Year but there are some that are worse than others and like anyone confined with only a few feet of freedom daily, there is not much to look forward to other than liberation.

While there, to him, each Christmas offered hope that there are no more blue Christmases and “this one would be the last spent behind bars.”

The now free man compared the last Christmas of incarceration like unto “the first girl you kissed and the last dog you kicked, forever etched in my mind”.

When asked what his first thought was upon being released , he said he thought of his mother and how happy she would be to see him, since it felt like a lifetime since he hugged her.

He now sees Christmas as a freeman as “a blessing when compared to those spent behind bars, especially when they are away from family and friends.”

He advised youths who are being influenced by peers to do wrong, to think of and cherish their freedom as a gift to be cherished and used wisely as “it is only when it is taken away from you by your wrong choices that you realise how precious freedom really is.”

This year he will be assisting with the pepper-pot and Ginger beer making, and though he cannot afford any gifts just yet, he will be giving all the love he can to his family and friends through kind deeds. He says “Only who feels imprisonment understands why birds sing when they fly freely” he said.