A tale of a Person Living With HIV/AIDS

Dec 25, 2009 News

By Sharmain Cornette

He will not be indulging in foods laden with harmful cholesterol, neither will he opt for the bubbly, sparkling alcoholic beverages that are available in abundance this time of year, rather Nathan Hernandez (not his real name) will this Christmas prefer an extremely healthy diet which is in fact required, among other things, to remain alive. And it will be family instead of friends that he will share heartfelt Christmas cheers with today.

And it isn’t just around this time of year that 54-year-old Hernandez portrays this impressive behaviour but rather it is evident every single day throughout the year. But he was not always a health- and family-conscious chap; in fact, eight years earlier he may have simply been regarded as a ‘sweetman’.

“I used to run around with a lot of ladies… I believed then was an exciting time for me, the bad life…Me and my wife even separated because of that,” Hernandez said ruefully.

But it was just when he decided that he had found his true soul mate that his life changed, and in no small way. “Sherry was the one! We met and I believed we were in love,” Hernandez mused during an interview with Kaieteur News.

They had met during the latter part of 2000. That Christmas they were inseparable and the relationship blossomed. “It was like the best Christmas I had ever had with anyone in my life,” Hernandez sheepishly confessed.

However, it was not until the New Year that the two consenting adults decided that they would start a real relationship free of all “baggage and attachments” from the past. Hernandez would soon learn that included in the liberation package was securing a clean bill of health. They were both eager to get on with their budding relationship and together visited a public health facility to get the process started.

They did a lot of medical examinations and even tested for sexually transmitted infections including HIV/AIDS. The results were not immediately available as the HIV/AIDS tests were not processed as fast as it is possible today.

He remembers clearly that beautiful March afternoon in the year 2001 when he and his sweetheart, arm in arm, returned to the health facility to uplift their test results. His girlfriend was the first to receive hers, and as Hernandez had expected she was STI free. He was especially relieved to hear that she was free of HIV. But a subtle thought scurried through his mind about his own status; after all he did engage in unprotected sex once or twice in the past, but never with Sherry.

He quickly flushed his mind of the chilling thoughts and, still wrapped in his sweetheart’s arm, confidently awaited his turn. And boy did it hit him like a tsunami. “Here is your result, but you have to wait and see a councillor,” said a young woman in a tone that Hernandez could only describe as disdainful. She was a staffer of the health facility. “I knew something was wrong right away. Sherry knew as well…Anyone who heard that knew something was definitely wrong,” Hernandez said in a dejected tone.

Counselling did nothing to save the budding relationship. Though she initially agreed to play the role of a caring partner, Sherry was seemingly relieved that she never uttered the words “until death do us part.” In a matter of days, she had totally given up on the relationship and Hernandez never heard from her again.

Christmas that year would prove to be by far the loneliest and most cheerless he had ever experienced. He was in a state of intense depression, torn between thoughts of crying incessantly and dying. He however opted to do neither but instead decided to take control of his life or as he puts it “take the bull by the horns.”

Hernandez recalls that it was not an easy task accepting the fact that he was HIV positive but admitted that he had no one but himself to blame.

He remains clueless as to who passed the virus onto him but noted that he has been able to embrace the notion that “this was meant to happen to me,” as he recited the old adage, “As you make your bed so shall you lie in it.” He started reading about the virus and was able to uncover a wealth of information including the fact that regular medical attention is mandatory for a Person Living With HIV/AIDS (PLWHA). It took some time though before he was able to muster up enough courage to return to the health facility and seek medical attention.

“It was not easy facing those people. It meant that they knew that I was positive and could point me out on the street…”

And there were numerous times he recounted that he felt discriminated against. “Counsellors dealing with HIV positive patients are far more professional now. Back then it used to be just an embarrassing experience,” Hernandez related.

In his quest to help reduce the stigma and discrimination directed towards PLWHAs, Hernandez sought to join a number of organisations geared at sensitising the public that HIV can happen to anyone. So engulfed was he in the drive to reduce the hateful scourge associated with the virus, that he quite often took time off from his job. His passion eventually served to fuel discussion among workmates that he was HIV positive. Fearful of being exposed and ridiculed by his colleagues, Hernandez decided to resign. He even gave up some friends, who maybe were not really friends, but rather just drinking buddies.

Today he is a part-time HIV/AIDS Counsellor and earns a modest income as a self employed electrician. According to Hernandez, because of his status he is better able to relate to infected and even affected persons. He recalls that it was in the early stages of his illness that he recognised that he could not make it on his own. He had to turn to his family – his wife from whom he had separated and his daughter. “They were emotional when they first heard but they have been there for me ever since,” said a grateful Hernandez.

With support from his family, he has been able to adhere to a rigid medication schedule in addition to a healthy diet and lifestyle, giving him a new lease on life – one that he cherishes every single day.

And with much gratitude in his heart, Hernandez will today spend his eighth Christmas as a PLWHA, with his loving wife and daughter, giving and sharing like he never did before.